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Modesty Survey: What Do Guys Think About What We Wear?
I don't have time to post a bunch this morning because I'm off to our homeschooling track meet, but someone sent me this link and I just have to share it.

I've been wondering lately about current fashions and whether they really are modest and proper. I've been having a hard time with the low rise pants, because I think they show way too much (plus, on most people they're not that attractive).

And I always believed that T-shirts shouldn't be form fitting. Oh, and showing your bra straps? A definite no no. Not quite as bad as showing one's underwear, including a camisole, but definitely bad. One should never give even a hint of lace.

But in the last year I've tossed almost all of those missives out the window because that's just what fashion is. I've started wearing much more form fitting clothing, and I put camisoles under V-neck shirts, and I wear some low-rise pants (though I try to get them as high as possible). And my daughters do, too.

For the current fashions, we're still pretty modest. But if five years ago you had shown me a picture of what I was wearing, or what I allowed my daughters to wear, I would have been appalled. Almost all fashions go in the face of what we've been taught about modesty.

Please understand--we never show cleavage or belly buttons, and we wear long shirts. It's really just the form fitting aspect that bothers me!

Anyway, here's a link to a modesty survey that was done recently. They asked men and teenage boys what they thought was modest, and it's interesting. Take a gander. I'd love to keep talking about this tomorrow. So if there's anything you see there that's really outrageous, or really insightful, leave it in the comments! Just go here for the survey.

Oh, and I'm working on that reading list I promised!

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At 12:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

I found the survey to be very interesting. This is an issue that I've been thinking about for quite some time. I have 2 daughters (6 & almost 8) and I find it's very difficlult to find modest clothing for them. In fact I've been trying to brush up on my sewing skills for just that reason. They want to be cute and stylish, but there are limits to what their father and I allow.

What really suprised me was the number of things I hadn't even considered that they questioned, such as if a women re-adjust her bra strap. I have (very) narrow shoulders and find myself doing that often because I'm trying to keep them out of site. I guess I need to be more careful about how my shirts fit across my sholders if that will be a problem.

I also thought it was funny the number of times the results were rather even. The same nimber of men would agree as would disagree. One of the commenters had the right idea. When in doubt, ask Daddy!



At 1:26 PM , Blogger Tara said…

I think modesty begins when the babies are babies. I don't let my two year old daughter wear two piece bathing suits, run around without a shirt on or show her diaper under her skirt. I have friends who claim to value modesty who do let their toddler aged girls do all of the above! My thinking is, if it's okay at two (or three, or four...) when does it become NOT okay???

Just this morning I bought a skirt for Avery at a second hand shop. Before tossing it in the cart I made sure it had a "shorts" type lining in it so she could be modest! I can't stand letting a toddler girl show off her diaper. If I let her diaper show why not let her unders show??


At 8:58 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

I find it disappointing that many Christian women don't appear to think modesty is important.

I also think that information such as the modesty survey is very helpful, because women are not as visual and men, so we can easily "stray" off into "fashionland". :-)


At 3:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Why is "modesty in dress" only an issue that women have to follow and men are victims of. Are other women out there sexually dead? Am I though only one who finds men tempting? Why does no one talk about men running around with their shirts off? Or bending over with their backsides in MY face? Men are sexy, too, and can be just as immodest in dress and action.


At 3:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Tara, your comment is disgustingly sexist. Why is showing a girl's diaper more immodest than showing a boy's?


At 3:21 PM , Blogger Sheila said…

To the last anonymous comment;

I really have no idea where you're coming from with regards to Tara's comment. It sounds to me like Tara has daughters. She wasn't making any comment about boys at all. I think you're reading too much into it. She was simply saying that WITH HER DAUGHTER, she is beginning modesty as a baby.

The post, after all, had to do with how you're raising your kids, and she was simply responding about how she is raising hers. She wasn't making any comments at all about boys, since she doesn't have any.

As for the other anonymous about men's modesty, I think that's a good point, too. I think the reason it doesn't get talked about is that women are less sight oriented when it comes to sex than men are. That doesn't mean we're not sight oriented at all; only that men tend to be more so. So you're right: we all should be more modest, men or women.


At 3:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Sheila, Tara specifically said, "I can't stand letting a toddler GIRL show off her diaper." If she wasn't being sexist, she would have left it at toddler. A diaper is a diaper. Most people can't even tell boys and girls apart at that age if they aren't dressed in common gender-related colors.

And I'm not sure what sort of woman you are, but I am CERTAINLY every bit as visual as a man is. I am not ashamed to admit that I can be sexually charged by an "immodest" woman as any man can be and also by men.


At 3:54 PM , Blogger Sheila said…

Anonymous, I understand what you're saying, but if you read the context of Tara's post, she's specifically talking about how she handles her two-year-old DAUGHTER. And the post is about modesty in regards to females. So I just thinking you're reading too much into it. The question was: how should we raise our daughters? She's responding to that. Tara comments here a lot, and her comments are right on. I just think you're being a little quick to label her "disgustingly sexist". I really don't like that tone in the comments section of my blog!

As for you being just as aroused as men are by the visual, I'm not saying you should be ashamed of it, or that it's not true. I'm just saying that studies show that men do tend to be more visually stimulated. That's why porn tends to feature naked women, and not naked men (and the majority of porn of naked men is consumed by gay men, not by heterosexual women).

It doesn't mean that women can't be visually stimulated, it's just that it tends to be that men are far more than women are, which is why modesty tends to be talked about in a female context. But regardless, you're right that both genders should endeavour to be modest. I wholeheartedly agree with that.


At 6:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

What a nice little debate this has sparked. Here are my thoughts.

I don't think the biggest issue with Tara's post is that she thinks only girl babys/toddlers should be modest, but instead how she is helping her daughter become a sexual object.

By dressing her daughter in "modest" clothing she is basically telling everyone around that underneath the clothing is something that is arousing, something that pertains to sex. And frankly, there isn't. Girls don't sexually mature until much later. To stop this sexualization of children, I believe that Tara should instead not worry if her daughter is being immodest, but rather about bigger issues like her daughter's education.

Shelia - I also quite disagree with this statement you made "It doesn't mean that women can't be visually stimulated, it's just that it tends to be that men are far more than women are, which is why modesty tends to be talked about in a female context."

That is not based in fact, that is instead based on your interpretations of a male based society. A society that belittles women time and time again.

Women can definitely be as visually stimulated, it's just that they are told that that is not acceptable. They are told that they cannot be as sexual as men, and that their bodies are controlled by men.

Frankly, modesty is another way for people to think of each other as sexual objects. For when we cover ourselves up for the express purpose of avoiding arousal, we send the message that our body is entirely sexual. All this meditation on modesty is taking away from the thoughts and ideas of all, things that are way more important than the scraps we cover ourselves in.

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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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