If you can't forgive your husband for something that he's done, your marriage will never thrive. It will slowly disintegrate. Forgiveness is THE issue in marriage.
I know when I was first married I had lots to forgive (as did my husband). We hurt each other over the first few years, because we were both focused on getting our own needs met, and not on how to give to each other. When we were both able to put the other first, things got so much better.
It's been a while since I've uploaded a new video, so here's one from an appearance on 100 Huntley Street Full Circle where the girls on the couch are all talking marriage and forgiveness. Hope you enjoy it!
And don't forget that it's only 6 days away from my Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight party! Don't miss it! We're going to have prizes, a Twitter party, a Facebook party (the page is here, or just search for "Sheila Wray Gregoire's Books" in Facebook), a teleseminar, and more! Great prizes for a blog scavenger hunt, too! Find out more here.
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I agree with you. I think included in the 'forgiveness' should be real and perceived hurts. I'm very sensitive and there are time when my feelings get hurt that wasn't something my husband did knowingly. There are definitely forgiveness issues that need to be worked out together, but if I brought up every little 'ouchie' feeling to my husband it would seriously effect his self-esteem. So I choose on the little stuff to think that my husband was not trying to be hurtful, but forgive the hurt and ask God to help my sensitive heart to heal.