After spending five hours on a plane yesterday, and several at airports, I'm really not sure what time it is.
I managed to go to bed at a decent time last night and fell asleep right away, even though my body clock was supposed to be three hours behind. But I'm awake now and everything is in slow motion and I can barely keep my eyes open. So I'm seriously considering going back to bed!
To top it all off, my podcast hosting site seems to be down, so I can't upload my podcast. Hopefully later today I can get it up; it's an important one on why pornography is so bad in a marriage (Hint: it's not just because he's cheating on you; it goes way deeper than that). And women can fall into the same trap.
As I was on this speakers' retreat this weekend, I met a bunch of new speakers with Family Life Canada, the organization that does the marriage conferences that I speak at. And--gasp--some of these speakers were younger than we are. We've always been the youngest, but we're not anymore. My husband will be 40 this year, and I'm catching up.
What with having a 14-year-old daughter, I'm starting to feel like I'm aging. Being in one's 30s isn't bad, but one's 40s?
And yet I wouldn't go back in time for anything. I am so glad to be where I am now. I have a great marriage that is built on so much history. We had to struggle through our son's death, and a lot of issues early on, and even some stuff much later as God was still refining us. But we're rock solid now, and I love him to bits, and I wouldn't want to go back to the years where we were still trying to figure out where we were going.
And parenting? The children are so fun now. I can have real conversations with them. I wish, sometimes, that I could go back for just 15 minutes and hold them as babies again, or see them as toddlers trying to clambour up into my lap. But I guess that's what grandchildren are eventually for: to remind you of those good days. For now, I'm just grateful for what I have, and I'm excited to see where life takes us next.
Several of my friends mourn their high school days. They wish they could go back to being teenagers. You couldn't pay me enough to go back then. My life is better each and every day. That doesn't mean it's perfect; it just means that I'm growing, and my relationships are deepening, and I'm content. Why go back?
It's sad when people aren't satisfied with life, but the answer isn't to look backwards. It's just to build on what you have now.
So we're getting older, and I can live with that. Now if only I could just wake up.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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