Okay, ladies. This week for Wifey Wednesday I'd like to share with you something that I wrote last year about what we women are looking for at Christmas. It's not advice for you; it's more advice for your hubby.
But it's one of my favourite things that I've written, and I think you'll enjoy it. And then you can share it with him! Here you go:
Right now, many men are obsessed with that age old question: “how can I earn major brownie points this Christmas?” Well, if you want to find the road to Christmas success, it’s always advisable to follow those who have blazed the trail before you. And who better than those we now call “The Three Wise Men”, all because they impressed an important woman that long ago Christmas.
What did they do that was so wise? First, they brought gifts. No matter what your wife says, a package under the tree is non-negotiable. But not just any package. I heard the woeful tale of one husband who bought his wife a scale. As my husband said, that level of stupidity doesn’t come naturally. You have to practice.
The gift, then, must be good. The Wise Men came bearing gold, frankincense, and myrrh. I’m sure Mary greatly appreciated those things. I’m equally sure she and Joseph promptly sold them to pay for their flight to Egypt, thus ushering in that other sacred Christmas tradition of returning gifts for the cash.
The Wise Men’s gifts, though, did show great forethought. But the wise men remembered that first rule of Christmas gift-giving: under no circumstances should you buy her something you think she needs. First, you’re probably wrong; and second, even if she needs it you’re bound to buy the wrong one. If she needs it, make a date to go buy it together on Boxing Day. Don’t make it a gift. The Wise Men, after all, didn’t bring diapers and Vaseline, though those would have been useful. They brought something symbolic of who Jesus was to them. So think romance, not necessity. Think meaningful, not useful in the laundry room. It’s the wise way.
The Wise Men, however, were not merely gift toters. They also were wise because they were on the look out for danger, avoiding the homicidal King Herod and protecting Mary and Jesus in the process. This may not be a very women’s lib type thing to say, but I think “protecting your brood” comes right after “it’s the man’s job to kill the bugs” in the official marriage rule book.
Now, men must understand that many dangers in a woman’s life are of her own making. Women naturally expand to fill the void—and no, I’m not referring to the lady who required that scale. If there is work to be done, and no one to do it, women naturally step in. That is why we are chronically exhausted and grumpy. Men can protect women by helping us do some of that work, and by gently helping us see when we’re getting out of control. Remember, though, that the preferred method of conveying such nuggets of wisdom is to do so while handing us chocolate truffles and running that bubble bath.
Finally, the wise men knew that sometimes you have to take a journey to find something truly important. I don’t mean heading down to Home Depot to get the latest power tool; I mean going places you wouldn’t normally venture. Maybe you need to take a journey this Christmas season; a journey back to that place in your heart where you first fell in love. Maybe you need to journey to church, to a marriage counselor, to more of your children’s pageants. Maybe you need to journey to a place of forgiveness. Maybe you need to take a journey to a place where you can be free to say “I love you”, “I cherish you”, “I need you”, or to find an answer to the question, “what am I here for?”. Seek out that which is important this season. It is there to be found, and it is a wise man indeed who does not pass it by.
I used this column as the basis for a talk I gave last Sunday night, and I think it went well. We are to be wise at Christmas, and that means we all have to take a journey, and not just the men. Where are you journeying to? Can you see Jesus anew and learn how to forgive your husband? Can you develop a renewed love for your family? Whatever it is, don't be afraid to go there. Don't think you don't have the time. You do. It's the wise thing!
Labels: Christmas, forgiveness, marriage, wifey wednesdays