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Wifey Wednesday: How Does One Find One's True Love?

It's Wifey Wednesday! Thanks for joining me as we talk about how to make our marriages great.

So here goes. I totally love Jane Austen. So do my daughters. They have Emma, Sense & Sensibility, and the five hour version of P & P memorized! And they're reading the books.

Yet I find it so sad that in real life Austen never found love. I heard that Persuasion was her most autobiographical work, except that she never did reconnect with her own Captain. I think that's my favourite of her books, maybe because it does seem the most honest.

I heard someone say once that in the Bible, God just dropped one's spouse into one's lap. Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebecca, Moses and Zipporah. They didn't have to look for each other. Maybe that's what it's supposed to be like here, too. We spend so long looking, and then suddenly the right person pops up. If only we could have trusted God right away.

That was my struggle. I was so afraid of being alone. I had to constantly surrender that fear to Him, but in His grace He made sure that I wasn't.

I think that can be a major stumbling block for women. In Genesis it God says to Eve, "your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you". I think part of what this is warning of is that women will love men inappropriately, too much, and sometimes to their own detriment.

Sometimes we love because we don't want to be alone. And then we end up in relationships where we're not treated well, and we wonder if we made a mistake.

My heart breaks for you if you're in that situation. When you feel like you'll never really understand true love.

I once read, though, that "happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love. They endure when we love the one we marry." Your happiness now is far more contingent on how you treat your husband than on whether or not you made the right choice a decade ago.

If you choose to love him, and choose to be thankful for him, your feelings will often follow.

Don't believe me? Then try this: every night for a week, write down five things that you're thankful for about your husband. It can be stuff like, "he took the garbage out." Or "he makes a good income", or "my son loves to wrestle with him." Even if you're angry, find five things you're grateful for.

And WRITE THEM DOWN! It's far more effective than just thinking them.

Then, try to tell him one a day. Just one. Try that for a week. And let me know how it goes!

God bless, and come back next Wednesday for more Wifey Wednesday advice! Leave your own advice in the Mr. Linky link! Just go back to your blog, type your post, and then link to the address of that post in the box below. Then we can all share each other's wisdom!

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At 12:30 AM , Blogger Scribbit said…

We were just talking about how Sense and Sensibility is my favorite--I just love the romance.


At 10:32 AM , OpenID Dawn said…


This is a wonderful post and a wonderful idea! I finished Mansfield Park a couple of days ago and can't stop thinking about it. Jane Austen surely connects with us, doesn't she?

I'm so happy you're joining us at the Homeschool Blog Awards!


At 11:07 AM , Anonymous Susan Burk said…

Sheila, Just wanted to let you know I posted my link. Thanks for inviting me "over" and God bless! Susan


At 5:45 PM , Blogger Beautiful Stranger said…

Yup I'm still waiting for God to plop one in front of me!! ;) In the meantime I'm just working on making myself the best possible future wife that I can be... that's all I can do!! <3 Let's home Mister Right-For-Me comes along soon!! xoxo


At 10:45 PM , Blogger Wifey said…

Great advice! I thank God for my Husband everynight, but now I'll be a little more specific - smiles!


At 11:50 PM , Blogger Jodi said…

I posted my link too. I have to say that the writing down five things you are thankful for each day, is a real marriage saver. I did that for one year and then gave it to my hubby for our anniversary. It was a great gift for him, but I was the one that benefitted the most. Just doing that changes your heart somehow. Thanks for a great post!

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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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