Sheila's Books
Click on the covers to read more or order autographed copies!

My Webrings

Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Members!



Medical Billing
Medical Billing

For ALL Your Graphic Needs

Dine Without Whine - A Family 

Friendly Weekly Menu Plan
On Rush Limbaugh, Osama's 3 Wives, and Your Living Room
Shortly after Osama bin Laden was killed, Rush Limbaugh apparently was talking up a storm because he said on his show that with three wives, you'd think Osama's house would have been a little neater.

I really don't want to debate whether that comment was offensive to women or not, because that's not where I'm going with this, though if you'd like to comment on it, you're more than welcome. I don't listen to Rush; don't get him on my radio up here in Canada. But I saw a link to this transcript, and I thought this was interesting:

Folks, it was a pigsty.  I'm not trying to offend Muslim sensibilities here.  Pigsty's been around long before I was aware that that had some sort of possible problem with Muslims.  I mean, for crying out loud, dirty windows, half eaten food on the floor, filthy clothes shoved under the unmade bed.  I mean it looked worse than a teenage kids room.  It looked like a crack house.  And they continue with this business here that it was some million-dollar property. 
Then he says:

Here's a guy with three wives living in a pigsty. One ought to be enough to keep it clean. 

So, what's up?

First, a simple observation. Polygamy is absolutely, completely, undeniably disgusting. I can't think of a worse type of relationship. You are property; you aren't loved. That's not even marriage. A marriage is between one man and one woman, and it is exclusive. Polygamy is a debased distortion of what God intended (and God even warned Solomon about it). 

And think of what polygamy does: it tells women that you're not really special. You're here to perform a role, which is basically a sexual one. You're not here to be a confidante or a friend, because I can't treat you any differently from any of the other wives. So I'm just going to use you.

No wonder depression is so high in the Muslim world! 

If you were one of Osama's 3 wives, would you clean anything? I don't think I would, because nothing would really be mine. Everything would be his, and if I made it better, then I'd be making life better for two of my rivals and all of their children, too. So there would be a race to the bottom, I believe; a race to see who can get away with doing the least, so that nobody else benefits from our labour.  And Osama, of course, would never clean because it was beneath him. So they all lived in squalor, despite the fact that he was supposed to be so revered. His life was disgusting, his end was pathetic, and he poisoned everything he touched.

Socialism has a similar problem as Osama's lack of housekeeping, by the way. When everything is owned in common, then people don't care for it properly, because others can abuse it or can skate along with no effort on their own part. That's one reason, for instance, that agricultural output in the former Soviet Union kept decreasing every year, despite all the new agricultural policies. When people don't own the crops they produce, and when others can benefit from their own work, then people will not work as hard. 

Ownership matters. If we're going to have pride in something, we have to have a stake in it which cannot be taken away. We have to be able to benefit from the fruits of our labour, but, just as importantly, we have to be able to benefit ONLY from the fruits of our labour. If we can get something for free, why work for it? But if we do work, and then we can enjoy the rewards, we will.

So let's bring this back around to us. Do you take pride in your home? I did a whole lot more when we bought our house than when we rented. For the first seven years of our marriage we were in rental housing, and it's hard to get excited about a place you know isn't really yours. We could never paint any colour other than beige, and we couldn't put much up on the walls. We couldn't change the kitchen cabinets or fix them up. And why would we put work into a place we weren't going to stay in?

But as soon as we moved, I started buying decorating books and gardening books and everything, because I wanted to make a nice place for my family. 

It's funny, but I used to think I was a bad housekeeper. Looking back, I think it was more that I was just a pragmatic renter, and it was hard to get excited about beautifying a place that wasn't mine. That's not an excuse to keep things messy, by the way; I'm just saying that I got much more excited about cleaning once it was my house.

The other big difference is that when you're renting, you tend to live in a smaller place than you would otherwise. You're giving your money away to a stranger every month, so you tend to live more frugally, saving up money so you can invest in something that's really yours later. For us, that meant we never had enough storage space when we were renting. We never had enough rooms, or enough closets, or enough wall space for bookcases for all our stuff. And it's much harder to keep the house neat when there just isn't room for everything.

The moral to this story? Don't be too hard on yourself if you're living somewhere that isn't really yours. Do the best you can, but realize that comparing yourself to someone who owns their own home isn't the same. And save some money, so that one day, when housing prices finally do settle down to a reasonable level,  you'll be able to actually own something.

Oh, and don't become Muslim. Polygamy doesn't work for so many reasons, but one is that nothing is ever really yours--even your husband.

Labels: , , ,


At 10:54 AM , Anonymous Bridgette said…

so agree with you, woman! I could never understand, when seeing fleeting commercials on the latest polygamy-promoting TV show, how low the self-esteem must be for those women to allow them to fool themselves into entering a relationship like that. And at least in their case, THEY have a choice. The poor women in radical muslim countries have no choice whatsoever.


At 4:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

I am not Muslim nor is my husband polygamous. However, I can't understand the assertion women in polygamous relationships are not loved. Some of them are some are not.
Elkanah gave Hannah a double portion because he loved her. He did not have to treat her the same as he treated his other wife. His wives were certainly rivals but again, not all families work that way. In cultures where polygamy is standard practice, there are wives that work together and support each other for the good of the whole family. Emotionally, they may rely on one another more than on the man. This is neither better nor worse than "our" way. If having multiple wives was such a disgusting practice, I would think God would have said something about it early on. Abraham was the father of the faith and yet had multiple wives/concubines, as did many, many others but it was not a spiritual issue. It was simply a social structure that worked well for some and not so well for others.


At 7:23 PM , Blogger Sheila said…

Anonymous, God did say something about it early on. He said, "a man shall leave his father or mother and cling to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh." It was about a single man and a single woman.

He warned Solomon and David not to marry extra wives, but they didn't listen.

And each time polygamy was ever mentioned in the Bible, it had disastrous consequences for all involved.

In the epistles, it is quite clear that the qualification for elder is that they be the husband "of only one wife". Polygamy was never God's idea; they were copying the tribes around them. And they paid dearly for it. God said one man, and one woman, and they violated it.

The Old Testament also contains stories of rape, but just because those stories are there does not mean that God condones it. God spoke specifically against polygamy, and other practices that the patriarchs did. They were not perfect men. And polygamy is just plain evil.

You cannot love if you are sharing that love with more than one woman. That goes against the very definition of love, which is exclusive. So it is not just another cultural choice; it is a choice directly against both the Bible and against human nature. People have participated in polygamy because people are selfish and brutish and wrong.


At 8:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Thanks for this post and for your comments on polygamy. Thanks for standing up for one man, one woman.
I fear that polygamy may become legal soon here in Canada with our 'cultural mosaic'. It's also embarrassing that Bountiful is claiming freedom of religion in their fight to keep polygamy.


At 10:18 PM , Blogger Ecclesiastes said…

It would take months to delve and explain the Muslim mind to you, but there is one bit of fact here that explains it all to everyone:

The two older wives lived downstairs. Osama and the youngest wife lived upstairs.


At 7:27 PM , Blogger Mary said…

Yeah, I'm waiting for polygamy to become legal all over the place, not only because the Muslim religion permits it, as well as some other religions, but because marriage has been redefined in our culture today.

I was a military wife for many years, living in rented apartments and base housing. While I can see that that would not be incentive for some people to take pride in the place, I always did. For me, my home is my home, and it doesn't matter to me whether or not I own it. But, that's just me. We have since owned several homes since my husband is no longer in the military. I have the freedom to paint the walls any color I please, but after so many years of renting/base-housing, you know what? No color looks RIGHT but off-white, so that is the color I have had in all of my owned homes, lol! Off white walls set off the nick-nacks well, and those nick-nacks were what always made my house "home" no matter where we were.


At 10:44 PM , Blogger Tessa said…

Catching up on your blog. LOVE this and can totally relate. To the house stuff I mean, not the polygamy!

I have a hard time putting in the time and effort to "fix-up" this house knowing that (hopefully) I will only be living here for a few more years. I do try to take pride in my home when it comes to housekeeping by telling myself that "if I can keep this place up then I can get a bigger/nicer house."

A nice house may not be important to everyone but when you live in it all day, every day, while homeschooling children then a home becomes very important. Though I must say that it is AMAZING to be able to play outside now, finally, after such a long winter! But then I look at the broken windows, the hanging wires..... I am going to talk to my husband about starting an official "House fund."


At 12:12 AM , Blogger Svar said…

@ Anonymous

Polygamy is not immoral(however, it is by no means God's ideal) nor biologically inviable, however, as I meantioned earlier it is not God's ideal and not a good model for an advanced civilization like the West. There have been many advanced civilizations that had polygamy, however, the widespread practice of monogamy is what is unique about Western civilization and possibly a reason for it's relatively long-lasting success.

Cultural relativism is ridiculous. Obviously, our way is better that theirs: when the middle-east was pagan and later on Christian, it was the hub of early Civilization. When it became muslim, it turned into a s***-hol0e. Simple as that.


At 12:14 AM , Blogger Svar said…

Wait a minute, I know that polygamy is not the ideal, but is it immoral?


At 2:30 PM , Anonymous uk Fred said…

Svar said...

Wait a minute, I know that polygamy is not the ideal, but is it immoral?

Think about it. Irrespective of the morality, it is just plain stupid, and there is no law against stupidity, except maybe for bigamy/polygamy. What man in his right mind would want more than one wife. It is nigh on impossible to keep one wife happy so how can you keep more than one happy with the inevitable problems that will surface, like jealousy.

I don't know about the States or Canada, but in Europe social housing is almost always a mess, because even if most of the families look after their homes, there is always one on the block that is a complete tip. I know all about it. I was brought up in social housing. And now, it seems even worse than 30 years ago. If you have anything worth protecting, the jealous ones will wreck it so that yours look no better than theirs.

Post a Comment
<< Home

About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

See my complete profile

Follow This Blog:

 Subscribe to To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Follow on Twitter:
Follow on Facebook:

Important Links
Previous Posts

Popular Archived Posts
Christian Blogs
Mom Blogs
Marriage/Intimacy Blogs
Blogs For Younger/Not Yet Married Readers
Housework Blogs
Cooking/Homemaking Blogs
Writing Links
Blog Design by Christi Gifford

Images from

Related Posts with Thumbnails