Sheila's Books
Click on the covers to read more or order autographed copies!

My Webrings

Crazy Hip Blog Mamas Members!



Medical Billing
Medical Billing

For ALL Your Graphic Needs

Dine Without Whine - A Family 

Friendly Weekly Menu Plan
Kids Arrive Drunk at Prom, Denied Entry, Now Sue....
Prom 2011photo © 2011 Kevin Kenny | more info (via: Wylio)

I've found my column fodder for next week! As many of you know, I write a weekly column in a bunch of papers out here in southeastern Ontario, and recently something happened in my hometown that is just so--outrageous--that I have to write about it.

But I thought before I tried I'd ask you all what you think! Maybe some of you can come up with some great lines of selective outrage I can throw in.

So here's the scenario:

A group of parents hire a bus to transport 13 kids, who are still 18 and under (the legal drinking age in Ontario is 19) to the prom, and then afterwards to a party where they will be drinking alcohol.

The principal announces two days before the prom that kids arriving in group vehicles will not be allowed entry, because group vehicles tend to encourage drinking.

The kids come anyway in the bus, and some are already drinking. The principal denies them entry. Now they threaten to sue.

Our community paper (the OTHER one), is all sob story on behalf of the kids. Seriously.

"Students lost their prom and are angry", is the headline, complete with the kids holding up prom dresses they didn't get to wear. It quotes one dad (Travers):

Travers said while the parents and students feel they deserve an apology there's also the financial issue that needs to be considered and the fact these students lost out on an important night.

"Some of these girls spent in excess of $700 but we feel the thing is that they ruined the prom for all these students," he said. "It's supposed to be the highlight of the end of their school years and they took that from them."

The group of 13 students — including the cost for their prom tickets, the rental of the bus and the purchase or rental of suits and gowns — spent approximately $4,500 for their prom.

What do you think? What should I say about this? I'm rubbing my hands together in glee with the ripe pickings already, although I'm also feeling a little guilty about being so excited because I should really feel a little more sympathy for these kids--they've obviously been raised poorly. I need to remind myself of this post on gentleness daily!

Let me know your take! (And bonus marks if you throw in how you feel about the way the paper slanted the story).

Labels: ,


At 10:38 AM , Anonymous Kelly said…

Yay... this is our future :( The principal gave them fair warning. The parents and the students knew this. I don't see how they have a case. 'Entitlement' doesn't/shouldn't give you what you want all the time. In fact, why aren't these parents/kids arrested for drinking underaged?


At 10:40 AM , Blogger Shaun and Holly said…

I can not believe this!! Drinking under age is against the law! Ridiclous that parents would encourage the drinking and then threaten to sue for the others that are trying to uphold the laws and keep the students safe! If I had kids that were attending the dance I would be very angry at the teachers if they let in drunk student (that would ruin the dance for the other students, that are upholding the law)! Ridiculous!!


At 11:02 AM , Blogger Christie said…

The judge should respond with a warrant of arrest of all the parents involved in the lawsuit for aiding and abetting underage drinking.


At 11:54 AM , Blogger Cassie said…

One thing I would point out is that they did in fact wear their prom attire. The other article states they spent the night in their tuxes and dresses at a local eatery.

I read the first page of comments on the other article - and supposedly one of the teens not allowed in is posting comments - his/her point of view being that other kids were let in, not all of them were drinking (s/he was not) and that there were kids more drunk than their group that were allowed in because they drove a car.

All that may be true.
But they were told days before the prom not to arrive in group transportation - that if they did they wouldn't be allowed in. Nothing was said about being drunk - but about the mode. If they were the only group to arrive in a bus - limo or otherwise - then they were daring the school to not let them in. It's kinda hard to miss a big bus pulling up.

As a high school teacher for 13 years I'd be willing to bet that the kids knew the rule and decided not to change their plan anyway. They probably even boasted about it beforehand at school - well within earshot of teachers and administration. I have a feeling that there are parts of the story missing here. No proof --- just an educated guess. Teens are really good at thinking the rule won't apply to them or that they will be able to wear a "no" down into a weary "yes. fine, just get out of my hair and leave me alone."


At 11:55 AM , Blogger Abby said…

Hmm...having just graduated from public school two years ago...I'm not sure how to address this. I still don't understand why parents feel that it's okay if their children (and friends) are drinking alcohol before the legal age. Why do people feel like it's okay to go against the law?

On another note, with the money spent, I think it's ridiculous in the first place that people spend so much money on the prom. I never went to the prom when I was in high school, but on the off chance that I would have gone, I know that I would not have spent anywhere near the $700 that the one girl in this story spent. So why to people feel like they need to spend that much money on prom in the first place?

I'll be looking forward to reading your article about this in the future.


At 12:15 PM , Blogger Cassie said…

Oh - and to why the paper slanted their article?
Could it be because nobody wanted to say to a teenager, "You made a bad choice, live with the consequences and go on." No one wants to tell the kids Get over it. In 5 months you'll be in college and you won't care about your prom. None of your new friends will care about your prom. Save the $700 from the prom dress and tuck it away so you can take an awesome trip when you graduate college. Or float you while you hunt for a job.

Or because as a society we get outraged when our kids aren't allowed to do something? The evil school being mean to their kids. That will really get people's goat.

It certainly wasn't to raise the issue of underage drinking - they only gave a brief paragraph (if you can call it a paragraph) to the MADD spokesman - who said they planned ahead - good for the students.


At 1:38 PM , Blogger Nylse said…

what i dont understand is - if they knew what the rules were, why did they choose to break them...
just to be objective for a second - proms are very expensive nowadays (as a frugal mom of college students, there's sometimes no way around it). with that said, perhaps it was too late at that point to recoup the funds for the limousine, and so they just decided to go anyway. i dont know how long the rule was in effect, and perhaps it wasn't well thought out.
i'm not advocating teenaage drinking or parents encouraging it; just another angle to the story.


At 2:22 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Wow, there's so much to say about this I don't know where to begin. They really have no case at all, because the school clearly stated that kids who arrived in a group would not be allowed in. End of story. As far as feeling sorry for the poor babies who didn't get to enjoy the prom, I only pity them for having such lousy parents. If the school apologizes, the kids won't learn that if you break the rules there are consequences. I say it's GOOD that they're losing so much money on the dress/limo because that will teach the kids (and the parents!) that you can't do whatever you want and get away with it. Giving in to these kids would only make them think (even more than they already do) that they're entitled to whatever they want, even if they break school rules and the law. Once they get into the "real world", they're not going to get off the hook if they break the law. This is a perfect way for them to learn that lesson. It is disturbing that the newspaper took the side of the "poor little babies" who missed the prom. I guess it's like what Cassie said, no one wants to be tough on kids or hurt their precious self esteem. Our society makes such a HUGE deal out of the prom and other ridiculous events that we act like the kid will be scarred for life if their prom isn't the most spectacular night of their life. Sheesh.


At 3:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

From reading the story and a few of the comments on the other site, here are a few of my thoughts:
1. They broke the rules. Get over it.
2. Some of the comments said that others arrived in a school bus (and/or more drunk), so why weren't they kicked out? I suspect the newspaper didn't give us the whole story. But... life isn't fair. Get over it. Maybe that is something the principal has to deal with her authorities, but the students who broke the rules still broke the rules.
3. People are saying this is supposed to be the highlight of their year or life. REALLY?! Now that is truly sad. One night that you may or may not be drunk for and certainly a lot of your classmates are is a highlight?
4. Creative kids would have either parked a distance far enough away so the bus couldn't be seen OR after being kicked out made their own party elsewhere(whether right or wrong). Whining about losing their party does not elicit my sympathy.


At 3:15 PM , Blogger Sheila said…

Obviously we're all on the same page here. I haven't found anyone really willing to defend the kids yet, which is pretty much what I'm hearing around my town, too. Wonder what feedback the parents are getting from their co-workers if they try to complain?


At 6:18 PM , Anonymous Gina Parris said…

Wow! We had 55 kids kicked out of prom this year because they failed the breathalizer test. Frankly I like the breathalizer because I think the huge limos that the kids get down here are pretty fun. Most of the fun is dinner and pictures and driving in the limo/ party bus anyway as well as hanging out together afterwards. Still you're right - it was the parents that got in the deans' faces here too. How pitiful to think prom must be the highlight of the whole year.


At 8:15 PM , Blogger Herding Grasshoppers said…

Is this the same newspaper that prints your column? Interesting, yah?

My first reaction is that this is just one reason we homeschool! Some things are just so messed up that there's no simple means of untangling them. Why schools even sponsor proms is beyond me.

It boggles the mind that these children don't think the rules apply to them, and that their parents are taking their side... well, that their parents would plan ahead for them to be drinking is beyond comprehension. And spending "in excess of $700" on their clothes? These parents need their heads examined! (I didn't spend that much on my wedding dress!)

Since when is going to the prom an entitlement? That's a privilege, not a right. And these underage kids out drinking? We're not talking about a glass of wine with dinner, at home with your family. That's unsupervised CHILDREN with alcohol. Those parents ought to be prosecuted.

But the covering for their kids when they clearly defied the rules is the bigger issue. I grew up with neighbors like that and I can promise you that kind of "parenting" bears very bitter fruit. Indulged kids who don't face the consequences of their behavior generally go from bad to worse. (Two of those boys I grew up with - now men - had their houses confiscated in drug busts and are doing time in prison, and the third fried his brain so badly on drugs that he now has very diminished mental capacity.)

With such pathetic excuses for parents, I can only hope that the school staff will stand firm.


At 8:43 PM , Blogger Tina Hollenbeck said…

Oh, DO lay into the parents something fierce! It appalls me that, more and more, people choose to knowingly violate the rules and yet still think they are entitled to a pass on the consequences! The school did not ruin this prom; the irresponsible parents and their overindulged children did that for themselves.


At 10:57 PM , Blogger Kellie Ross said…

I agree with all who have posted thus far, and just want to add my outrage at these "parents". Most of them probably want to be more of a friend to their teens, than parents. Another problem I have seen in today's parent's are that the parents are trying to re-live their teen years through their children. They want to "break the cycle" and want their kids to be popular, and have it better than they did. It is truly sad.


At 9:11 AM , Blogger Susan said…

Wow...this is amazing to me. Parents of these children are actually siding with their children?? What happened to "there are consequences to your actions"? Seriously, if the kids blatantly chose to drink and then show up at the prom fully knowing the consequences that had been clearly laid out, . They should not be allowed to attend!! I fully support the principal in his decision! Good for him! These kids need to realize that there are consequences for real life decisions, period. (or there should be!)


At 1:54 PM , Blogger Rebekah said…

Usually I don't read the comments after the articles, but this time I did. I am just shaking my head. You asked for opinions, so here ya go. Seriously, why does the school even have to say 'no alcohol?' when the law already does? Why is there even a question of guilt? All those sticking up for some who were on the bus, but not drinking, yet not allowed in -- in real life there is this thing called guilt by association and being an accessory to a crime or an accomplice. Even if there were kids on the bus who didn't partake, you can bet the family farm they knew the others would be. Also, as for those saying there were many who were allowed to attend who were more drunk, etc. you can't catch them all, but it is right to make an example of the students and parents who brazenly tried to sidestep clear instruction. In the article it was stated that they are good kids, they made a responsible decision concerning their transportation, and that they were given permission by their parents to consume alcohol, it was implied the parents even funded that. It isn't ever responsible to drink when you are a child. Responsible means you are trusted to obey the guidelines and make good decisions with the ultimate goal of doing upholding right and good. If you fail to do so, you stand up and take the heat, and the consequences without whining. The law never gave them permission to drink even if their parents did. It isn't usual that the 'good kids' are the ones who buck clear guidelines, and, um, at the very least, the 'good kids' should be scolding their not so good parents for making more of a fuss about this when they were clearly wrong. That is what responsible people do, they call others into account to be responsible also. Lastly, those law enforcement officers should have been making arrests whether inside or outside the doors, and citizens should be outraged that the laws they vote for and hold as good are not being rightfully enforced.


At 10:40 AM , Blogger Iva said…

Rules are rules. Period. They knew those rules and they chose to break them. I read recently about a senior (perhaps it was your blog?) who copied porn pictures on a school copy machine and threw them all over the school hallways. He was banned from participating in senior activities including graduation.

In both cases, students knew the rules and chose to challenge them - and parents are peeved because the school followed through? I don't think so.

Parents: build a bridge and get over it.


At 6:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Wow, this is unbelievable. I'm with you on this whole thing. Mary R.


At 1:46 PM , Blogger thesewinggeek said…

As a mom who once was a kid and not a horrible kid but one that did not always make the right choices.... I have always said to my kids "you do the crime you pay the time"
Do I have perfect kids? Problely not. I am sure I will hear stories at some point.
My point is as a parent what are you teaching when you condon it?
In my kids school, my children have all told me of the parents who allow drinking at their house... knowingly. Some have drank with the kids. Comments of well they will take the keys. Or nobody drives drunk. Drive me crazy. My kids haven't even gone to a public school but private Christian Protestant school.
As a parent I do not condone or encourage drinkin or drugs of any kind. All my kids, all kids in highschool are underage. All drugs are illegal therefore any child caught with drinking or with drugs in my view are breaking the law period. As for going in the bus... duh... the children who want to be treated like adults when it is convienant to them, do not want to live up to the consequences of breaking the law.
As for the amount of money spent on the "prom" clothes is just stupid. Thankfully my kids when faced with a school banquet each year bought a simply usable again dress and the boys some dress clothes or a suit that they wear to other functions.
Parents who go along with these fantasy wishes in my opinion are living their dreams through their kids or are afraid to really parent.
I say koodos to the principle who stood up to the kids! Cheers that they preformed breathilizers! Too bad their was probally some kids high that can't be as easily screened.
What about the potential for these kids - and don't kid yourself they are some who are taking them and experimenting with it - it is scary that these kids could be on the road.
And to the Madd spokesperson. Yes it is good that some of the kids had transport and weren't driving. But I know that some of these kids who lack judgement are binge drinking, mixing drugs etc. I know kids who have had alchol poisoning and have had date rape drugs in their drinks.
It is all fun and games until someone dies, gets maimed or kills someone.
Parents should be supporting responsiblity in all areas of their kids lives. Unfortuneatley some of these parents haven't become responsible grown ups either!
Signed a parent who is not naive to think her kids are perfect but tries to show them what a responsible adult should be like --
Grow up people!


At 11:41 PM , Blogger Chrissy said…

Any judge who doesn't immediately throw this case out of court should be kicked off the bench.

The principal gave the students plenty of notice. He told them what the consequence would be for breaking the rules. They went ahead and decided to break those rules.

These kids are old enough to learn that in the real world, there are rules and there are consequences. You can choose to break the rules, but you'd better be grown up enough to understand you'll pay a price.

I don't care how much money they spent on this night. They made a poor choice - facilitated by their parents - and now they need to live with it. There's no true legal ground for any lawsuit, if you ask me.


At 8:10 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

What's up to all, the contents present at this website are genuinely awesome for people knowledge, well, keep up the nice work fellows.

Also visit my site - Www.Babesflick.Com

Post a Comment
<< Home

About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

See my complete profile

Follow This Blog:

 Subscribe to To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Follow on Twitter:
Follow on Facebook:

Important Links
Previous Posts

Popular Archived Posts
Christian Blogs
Mom Blogs
Marriage/Intimacy Blogs
Blogs For Younger/Not Yet Married Readers
Housework Blogs
Cooking/Homemaking Blogs
Writing Links
Blog Design by Christi Gifford

Images from

Related Posts with Thumbnails