Sounds familiar. "All you want is my paycheck." Our conversation consists of me asking How was your day? good. Me making a comment about the weather, him saying yeah or it was fine. We don't talk unless he's mad at me and then he yells at me and I just listen. AFA sexual 'conversation' we haven't had sex in 2 years. Not by my choice either. I've done everything I can to fix that but he won't have anything to do with me. I think he's kissed me once or twice in the last 2 years, maybe hugged me once. I've explained my heartbreak over this 2-3 times and he doesn't care in the least- "That's your problem." But he is a good dad, he willingly provides for our material and financial needs and does a great job with that and managing our finances. But when it comes to 'relationship' he's hopeless.

I found myself actually LOLing at this video's humour, but it really isn't a funny subject, now is it? We are wired differently...we women want conversation and relationships, while the men like a "little less talk and a lot more action." It's a catch-22 because we'd be more in the mood for action if we got the conversation and the men would be more inclined to converse if they got a little more action. Sometimes it seems like a cruel joke.

My link:

http://terrybreathinggrace.wordpress.com/2011/06/15/on-mutual-submission/

Anonymous, I'm so sorry for your difficulties. I said a prayer for you and your husband.

To Anonymous (posted at 10:49am),
Your experience of marriage so echoes that of my first marriage (the non-conversation, lack of love, lack of love-making etc.) We didn't make love for over 5 years. To cope, I threw myself into loving and looking after our three children. It worked (up to a point) until my children were 18, 16 and 11 years old. I was on anti-depressants for such a long time. Then I went back to work part-time and felt really useful and appreciated. As my self-esteem returned, I asked my husband if we could go for counselling, he said it was only me that needed a check-up - from the neck upwards! So after a lot of thought and heartbreak, I eventually divorced him. He only seemed to be upset about losing the large house we had and not our so-called relationship. To be fair, I asked my solicitor to split everything 50/50. He seems much happier now, living alone. He sees the children sometimes and has always provided for them until they reached 18. I am now married to a lovely, Christian man who truly, truly loves me. I wake up every day feeling loved and wanted. We talk about all sorts of things and nothing is taboo. I'm not saying whether I think you should or shouldn't do things the way I did, I just wanted to tell you my story so you know it's not just you.
My heart goes out to you and my husband and I will be praying for you.
Lots of love to you
God Bless

Kay in UK

I'll admit, my husband and I do a lot more conversing now that school is out for the summer. I work at a school and during the school year, between work, scouts, and school (actually, we're both in school), I'm too tired to really converse. In the summer it's better...

To the first anonymous:

I'm sorry for all the difficulties you're going through. To me, it really sounds like you need to see a counsellor. I don't know if you could convince your husband, but even having someone that you could talk to, who could help walk you through this, would be helpful. It sounds like your husband has basically checked out of the marriage without checking out of the house.

Find someone who does believe in marriage, so that they'll really try to help you (instead of just saying you should leave and find yourself). But often these people can help you talk through big issues and see if things really can be resolved, and I think you could really use that. I'll pray that you find someone like that to talk to, who can help you through.

Thank you for posting this - it was quite funny, and quite true! How easily the tables can be turned... in either direction, huh?!