Have you heard that story? He's a Congressman from New York who was caught sending lewd pictures of himself to a 21-year-old he hardly even knew on his Twitter stream. He denied it; claimed his account had been hacked; and then denied it some more. Then some more women came forward (some just high school seniors) to say they, too, had received such pictures. And so he confessed.
Here's a man who is a Congressman. He's got power, and money, and prestige. And he blows it by sending lewd pictures to young women.
Or there's Arnold Schwarzenneggar, who just blew apart his marriage by admitting he fathered a child with the maid.
Or the head of the IMF near-raping a hotel maid.
Why do powerful men make such stupid mistakes? Why are they so sex-crazed that they would compromise all they have?
Yesterday, at his press conference, Weiner apparently said that his wife asked him "how he could be so stupid". I'm sure that's not all she asked him; I would have attacked him for doing it in the first place; getting caught is rather secondary to the whole issue. But it does seem as if these men take inordinate risks for various sexual thrills.
I don't really have time to comment much on this today--I have to edit my book by next week, and I have a ton of work to do--but I just want to point out that for many men this is a HUGE temptation. HUGE. Big enough to bring down an entire career.
We can't shut our eyes to this. We have to be aware of how big a weakness this is for many men. And know what your husband is doing! Be part of his whole life. So many married Christian guys are involved with porn, or strip clubs, or worse, because it is a huge temptation. Just know what he's up to. Spend time with him. If he wants to be on the computer, do something in the same room as him. Don't set up the computer in a private place in your house, where he can be alone. And if he has a notebook, just go with him to whatever room he's in.
If he travels for business, call him and text him frequently. I don't mean that you should spy; I only mean that if we're heavily involved in our husbands' lives, we can be a buffer for them so that it's easier to withstand the weakness, if that makes any sense.
Not all guys are tempted by porn, but most are. Let's not kid ourselves. So pray for your husband. Know what your husband is doing. Spend time together having fun. Talk with him frequently. And don't live separate lives. Then things like this are far less likely to happen.
I wonder what the difference is between men who do this and men who don't? I'm certainly not saying that men aren't tempted (surely women are, too). However, maybe it all comes down to resisting the temptation and staying out of situations where you're likely to give into it? What fool would go into a situation, full of temptation? It is not weakness if you stay away from temptation. You aren't "more" of a person if you face temptation and you deny it. Why put yourself through this?
I have actually come to grips with myself on this issue. Once upon a time, I would read romance novels that would alter my thoughts towards myself, my husband and my life. I felt a strong conviction to stop reading them and I did. I don't read them anymore and suddenly (well, maybe not SUDDENLY) my thoughts have done a complete 360 concerning myself, my husband and my life.
I think ultimately is it about what we allow ourselves to be exposed to.
Iva, excellent point! And a very biblical one, too. We are to flee from temptation. You're right; we're not more super-spiritual by resisting. It's better not to be in that position in the first place!
Great article. It is so sad what these men of power have come out of their closets in public. My other thought is wow they need to just stay away from twitter, fb and texting! It all comes out that way!
We ALL have a "blindspot". that area that provides tremendous temptation. (they don't call them the 7 deadly sins for nothing).
For some of us guys, it's in sex area - for others it's money or stuff or power/ego.
You ladies/wives can REALLY make a significant difference for your husbands by helping him discover and address whichever one he struggles with. It might be REALLY hard for him to tell you or discuss with you. But believe, he ABSOLUTELY wants to, needs to and will draw closer to you when you do.
Tom, I'll admit that men do have a weakness when it comes to sex. Hell, I have weaknesses with sex and with power/ego. However, it is ridiculous to think that women are the stronger sex. You do remember Eve's story right? haha
This is a good article. This will definitely keep guys like me from watching porn. It's really hard for a guy(especially a young unmarried guy like me) to resist.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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I wonder what the difference is between men who do this and men who don't? I'm certainly not saying that men aren't tempted (surely women are, too). However, maybe it all comes down to resisting the temptation and staying out of situations where you're likely to give into it? What fool would go into a situation, full of temptation? It is not weakness if you stay away from temptation. You aren't "more" of a person if you face temptation and you deny it. Why put yourself through this?
I have actually come to grips with myself on this issue. Once upon a time, I would read romance novels that would alter my thoughts towards myself, my husband and my life. I felt a strong conviction to stop reading them and I did. I don't read them anymore and suddenly (well, maybe not SUDDENLY) my thoughts have done a complete 360 concerning myself, my husband and my life.
I think ultimately is it about what we allow ourselves to be exposed to.