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What is a Godly Marriage, Anyway?

That's a question I've been dealing with for years as I write my books and speak at marriage conferences.

Does the wife have to stay at home? What does submission mean? Who should clean the toilets? What does it mean that my body is my husband's? They're all important questions.

In To Love, Honor and Vacuum I looked a lot at submission. I think there's a difference between submission and subservience, and too often we Christian women misunderstand the two. I also think we make submission into a decision-making game. If I ask a group of women what submission means, they usually hem and haw and then come up with this answer: "It means that if we can't agree, we go with his decision." Right. So God put all that in the Bible just to say that in the case of a tie, the husband wins. I don't think so.

I think submission is far more than that. It's not about decision-making; it's about an attitude. And that attitude is that I am going to consider his needs and wants first. I am going to participate in what God is doing in his life and truly make his success, spiritually, relationally, whatever, my goal. It's far broader than just being about decisions. But it also doesn't mean that we become slaves in any sense of the word. You can read more about this in To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother.

Right now, though, one of my blogging buddies Terry, over at Ornaments of Grace, has had some really great posts and debates in the comments about being a Christian wife. They're just awesome. She gave birth this week to her sixth baby girl, so she may be offline for a while, but you have to write what she wrote beforehand.

I'd link to them all, but there's so many you should just go to her site and scroll down, until you get to "Soul Mates and Bad Marriages". Then just follow the links.

And do bookmark her! She always writes really thought provoking stuff.

While you're at it, bookmark me, too! Just hit the subscribe button off to the right.

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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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