Amy at Humble Musings was writing about her kids' pet names, and how these reflect the tone of one's house.
My husband grew up in a very sarcastic house with 4 boys, and for the first couple of years that we were married I thought his brothers didn’t like him. Everything they said sounded so mean to my ears. Now I realize that they all love him. But it didn’t seem that way.
I’ve had to “lighten up” a little bit to fit in with the family, but we still have rules about how you’re not to say anything harsh. And the girls really don’t. They don’t fight that much either. When I am at people’s homes when the kids are growling at each other, it’s really difficult.
But the kids pick it up from the parents. We set the tone.
So what is the tone of your house? What did you say to your kids today? So often I find that the only things I say are, "Hurry up! We've got to go!", or "Clean up! Why is this place such a mess!" I'm not encouraging. I'm not blessing anybody.
Yes, our homes need order. Yes, we need to be disciplined. But all of that needs to be in a spirit of love and acceptance. It's a fine balance.
One of the difficulties is if you and your husband don't agree on the tone. You are encouraging; he is critical. Or maybe it's the other way around. I've known many families where one parent bordered or being verbally abusive. That's hard when it's your spouse, because if you try to contradict him, then you undermine his authority.
If you think he is crossing a line, the best thing is to bring a third party in. You could just be over-reacting. But pray about it, talk to him, and ask God to change the tone of your home. You may just be surprised by what happens!
Do you have a problem with the tone of your house? Tell us!Labels: parenting, sibling harmony |
Stumble It!
This is so true. My husband, too, came from a home where sarcasm ran rampant and I came from a home where things were said one way, but they meant something completely different and everyone knew it. It's taken us some time, and we still mess up a ton, but we're working on a tone that is loving, honest, supportive, with a healthy dose of fun. It takes constant maintenance, but it's worth it.