I'm away speaking for a weekend retreat right now, and my theme is Extreme Makeover: Heart Edition. Tonight I talked about the significance of "he came to himself" in the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. It's going really well, and I'm having a great time with it.
But when I left this morning I was a bear to my kids.
We had a piano lesson first thing this morning, and they have to play in a festival in two weeks. Neither is really prepared. In the past, Rebecca has always won. Every category. I think last year she had three firsts. Katie doesn't do quite as well, but she is a much more natural player. She can play by ear wonderfully, and she'll be great in church one day.
Anyway, I came down really hard on them. They haven't been practising enough, and I'm tired of always being on them. I told them that they had to take some responsibility for it, and they had to get the piano done from now on before I took them skating, or they had friends over, or they read a book. They had to put first things first.
I think I just demoralized them. And then I got to thinking, why do I care so much? Am I that invested in them winning? Why should it matter? I only want them to be able to play in church, and to one day make money teaching piano lessons if they need to. It doesn't matter if they play well in festivals. But it seems so important to me that they do well and be seen to do well.
I think it's pride on my part. It's a very fine balance, pushing them to do their best so that they can accomplish something worthwhile, but not get caught up in it yourself. I don't want to shame them (and I'm afraid I did), but I do want to encourage them.
Anyway, I wrote a long note on Facebook to my oldest daughter apologizing and telling her where I was wrong. I know she'll forgive me. But I need to pray about this a bit, to make sure my attitude towards them is right.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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