It's time for Wifey Wednesday, when I put up a post about marriage, and then you put up one of your own and add your link! That way we can all participate in the conversation!
I've just returned from my "second honeymoon". We've been married for 18 years, and this year, while the kids were at a two week stint at camp, we decided to go away just the two of us. We haven't really been away alone since our honeymoon, except when we're speaking at marriage conferences, but that hardly counts because we're working. We've done weekends, but nothing longer than that. So this was a big treat! Of course, we did see the kids in the middle of the week for visitors' day, but I needed my kid fix anyway so that worked out fine.
This honeymoon was WAAAAY better than the first. After our wedding, we paid big bucks to go down to a resort in the Poconos. I had these dreams of an amazing trip, and we took it. But was it really amazing? I'm not sure. There was so much pressure to make it an amazing trip, and we were still getting adjusted to everything (and each other).
Also, it's kind of hard to go to a posh resort when you're in your early 20s. It doesn't feel right, and you're always nervous that you're doing something wrong. In your late 30s it's totally different. At the Poconos lodge, they had four course meals all the time (what fork do you use?!?), people to put napkins on your lap (feels weird in your 20s), and set seating for the entertainment at night. For the comedy night, we were ushered to seats in the back, likely because we weren't "preferred guests". Seats were still available in the front at this point. And when you're 21, you put up with it, but it was weird. The good thing was that the resort had lots to do: tennis, skating, dancing, etc. But in retrospect I think it was just too much.
And, to be honest, the sex is a lot better when you've had 18 years of practice.
After our initial honeymoon, we came back to our apartment and just stayed holed up for a week, not telling anyone we were home. We played games and rented classic movies and just had a grand old time. That felt more like a vacation, in some ways, than the honeymoon did.
This trip that we just took was amazing, and as much as I'm going to miss the girls during the empty nest years (and I'm dreading those years a lot already), I know we'll be okay. It reminds me that we do have to make an effort to get away more often. But I think it was also better because we had been married for longer.
So, if I were to give newlyweds honeymoon advice, (assuming money is tight, as it usually is), I think I would say this:
1. Take a weekend in a nice place.
2. Spend a lot of time just getting to know each other at home, without having to go to work. Keep the video games off (or else play together). Go for lots of walks. Work out. Do something active.
3. If you do go away, remember that you can't have sex all the time. Honestly. Make sure there's something else to do, like sports, or hikes, or games.
4. Consider doing the big honeymoon trip on your first or even fifth anniversary, rather than right after the wedding. You'll likely have more fun, and you'll enjoy the place better!
5. Remember that right after the wedding, the fun part is getting to know each other. You don't necessarily need to spend a lot of money to do that. I'd recommend spending the money when you're more comfortable with each other and things aren't so new.
Of course, all of this is assuming the couple has not been living together prior to the wedding, and honestly are "getting to know each other". I know that's not the case with very many right now, but that would be my advice.
Now, feel free to disagree, but what is your take? What would you do about this big honeymoon trip? What did you do? What do you wish you'd done differently? Leave a comment, or write your own blog post and link up with the Mr. Linky!
Labels: loving, marriage, wifey wednesdays