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Wifey Wednesday: Wedding Do-Overs

Recently I was browsing the internet and I found a website about how to do weddings cheaply. And one of their blog posts was about what you would do differently with your wedding, if you now had the chance to do it over.

Here's what they asked:

If you had a wedding do-over, what would you do differently? Here are some points from the blog "2000 Dollar Wedding" about how to make it meaningful on a budget, and here are some rules we would avoid:

8. You have to put fondant on your wedding cake.
Admit it. It's disgusting. It has the texture (and taste) of plastic. And what the cake tastes like is more important than what it looks like. At tonight's wedding they had several real cakes. Real ones. They were absolutely delicious. I was forced to eat two pieces.

7. Someone else's voice has to dominate your ceremony.
It's your wedding. It's about you and your future partner and the coming together of your lives. Why should someone else talk all about it? At tonight's wedding, the bride and groom walked out together. The bride's sister did a brief introduction and then left the bride and groom alone up there. They talked about each other and then to each other. It lasted only about seven minutes, but it was the most sincere and touching ceremony I have ever witnessed. Tears streamed down my cheeks (and that never happens to me at weddings!).

Do read the rest of their list!

Now I have to admit that at our wedding I did put my foot down and had a non-traditional cake. We bought some luscious chocolate cheesecakes. It was expensive, but it was worth it. And I loved every bite!

But I would do some things differently. I'd hire a better photographer (not a good place to save money). I'd make the ceremony shorter (I think I tried to make it into an evangelistic tool. Not a good idea). I'd have more fun.

One thing we did right: we couldn't afford a big reception. We had no money. So we had a sitdown dinner for 35 people. But before that we had an open reception for anyone who wanted to to come to. Keith and I were in charge of the church youth group at the time, so all the youth came out. And we did our speeches there. It was a lot of fun. The food was simply appetizers, and most people stood around the gym, but the kids all got to make funny speeches, and it was really quite enjoyable. Much more so than the fancy sit down dinner.

One thing I wish we had had, though, was some sort of a dance. For my husband's 40th we threw a square dance, and it was so much fun. The kids loved it, the adults loved it, and it was memorable. I'd love to a combination "square dance" with "let's teach everybody how to do a waltz" or something. Not a dance where people just get drunk and jump around, but a dance where people have fun. I wish we had doen something like that, and for my daughters I'll make sure that we do (as long as they agree, of course).

So what about you? For this Wifey Wednesday, what would you do differently if you could do your wedding over? Just go to your blog, write your own Wifey Wednesday post, and then come back here and enter the URL in the Mr. Linky! Or just leave a comment!

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At 9:48 AM , Blogger Mrs W said…

We had a very cheap wedding. But there are some things we would change.

I would have worn a different dress. There was nothing really wrong with the one I had, and it was all I could afford, but I might have waited till I got to the USA where I was to be married before choosing a dress.

We would have told my MIL that this was NOT her wedding, despite the fact that it was her son getting married, and too bad if she didn't like the songs we had chosen. I would have told her that no, despite what she thought, her son who was the usher did NOT need a boutonniere on his suit and if that is what he needed to make himself feel important, then too bad.

I would have told my husband that as I didn't know his family, I really DIDN'T want his sister to be my bridesmaid, and the other one to be the flower girl. I wanted someone *I* knew. I would have told his mom that since I was having to have the two sisters already, that I was having the older sister too despite her being a black sheep in the family.

My husband would have told them that he did not care a bit if his mom liked the guy he wanted for a groomsman, that he was going to have him anyway, and if she didn't want her daughter walking down the aisle with him, fine, we'd find another bridesmaid like I wanted to in the first place.

We would have told the pastor who did it that it was OUR wedding, and if he just had to appease my MIL by not playing music she didn't "approve" of at his church, that we'd find another church and another pastor to officiate. We would have told him that the groomsman my husband wanted was going to be the groomsman despite the fact that the pastor could not stand him. We'd have had a breif salvation message because WE wanted to, despite the fact the pastor thought that they "didn't belong" at weddings.

Oh, and we'd have picked a different pastor in a different church anyway. Or, we'd have gotten the guy who ended up being the groomsman to officiate the wedding as he was a pastor. (And is now OUR pastor).

I'd have changed from my wedding dress into a more practical outfit to leave in despite what the pastor thought about the fact that it was apparently my "duty" to let my husband take the wedding dress off me at our honeymoon location.

And yes, we'd have hired a photographer. None of our wedding photos are really that nice.

Oh, and it would have been nice if my FIL had worn a suit and my MIL had gotten a new dress or something.

We're going to do a renewal one day as there are many frustrations we have over our wedding. It was like our wedding was for everyone except for us.


At 10:19 AM , Blogger Tara said…

I think having to plan, execute and pay for our own wedding kept things under control.

When we totaled up our cash and material gifts' value, subtracting costs (yes, including the dress and cake) we made a profit on our wedding.

We were determined not to start our married life in debt over the wedding and we didn't!


At 11:17 AM , Blogger { jamie's cottage } said…

This comment has been removed by the author.


At 11:25 AM , Blogger { jamie's cottage } said…

Great ideas here! As a wedding photographer, I love that you see the value of good wedding photography!!! In my opinion, there are really only two things that last after the wedding: the rings & the photographs. Other than that, what I think is important is finding ways to make your wedding reflect the unique personalities of you and your spouse, and making sure to involve those you love most dearly. Everything else usually just comes down to trying to please other people, and it really is suppose to be a celebration of your marriage!


At 4:12 PM , Blogger Berji's domain said…

We really did have a $2000 wedding. Two things I would have done differently: 1) have someone help pose us better for photographs ~ we had friends take the pictures and they are good quality, but they were still learning about composing the subject matter, so things could have looked nicer. But I'm not complaining b/c it was their gift to us to take all the pictures.
2) plan the reception a little better. We/I put a lot of thought into the ceremony. When we got to the reception I was like, "um... what's supposed to happen now?" (we didn't have dancing and it was only a light snack for the reception) but it all worked out and I still have good memories :)


At 6:05 PM , Blogger Antique Mommy said…

Our wedding was pretty small, less than 100 people. We were 39 and 42, so the whole giant white wedding didn't seem appropriate. We both loved our wedding, even though we did squabble over stupid stuff in the planning part. That continues to this day. Two creative control freaks, yet it works.

Do overs? We did not videotape the wedding. Dumb. And we would re-do the guest list. We invited people we didn't care that much about and left out others whom we should have invited.

My advice to brides is don't get so caught up in the details and planning that you forget to enjoy the day and to really be there! Focus on your spouse and the joy of the day. That you spent entire days on finding the exact right shade of ribbon for the bouquets will seem really dumb afterwards. Also embrace the inevitable snafus as part of the experience.

Also, don't go broke having a wedding. It's not worth it. Let your financial responsibility and accountability as a couple start with the wedding.


At 6:34 PM , Blogger ~Tami said…

I posted my blog post's link to the mister linky, but it doesn't seem to be working. You can read it here:


At 7:01 PM , Blogger Kate :-) said…

I loved my wedding. We had 70 people for a wine and cheese reception at my mother's house immediately following our early afternoon wedding. Then my new husband and I left about 6pm to have dinner alone. It was perfect.
If I could have changed anything, I wouldn't have worn the whole frou-frou gown and I would have asserted myself more to my future inlaws.

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Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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