If you're the life of the party, you may automatically say you're an extravert. But that's not necessarily true. An introvert is someone who gets energy from being by themselves. They process things internally, and usually don't speak until they've made up their minds about something.
An extravert, on the other hand, processes things by speaking. They need to talk it through. They get their energy from being with other people. So if they have a big decision to make, they call five friends and talk about it. An introvert may call a bunch of friends, too, but only after she's already thought it through.
Now here's where this comes into play in a marriage. If you're an introvert, chances are you need time just to be by yourself in order to stay emotionally healthy. I'm actually an extravert, but barely. I need that time to myself, too.
I've been on vacation for a week with my family, and it's been great. But we're leaving in about five hours and what I really really want to do right now is take a walk on the beach by myself. I haven't been by myself for a week! But the family often interprets that as me being depressed (which I'm not) or me rejecting them (which I'm not). So I have to sit down and explain I just need some thinking and praying time. And I will do that as soon as I've posted this!
But in the meantime, even extraverts may need time to themselves, especially with small children. And if we don't get that time, then when our husbands want us to be available for them we can become quite resentful. They're stealing the only time we have for ourselves! And then they expect us to be there for them! How selfish!
You see how this can become a big problem? He just wants to connect, and there's nothing wrong with that. And you want to connect, too, but you first need some time to replenish your batteries. He experiences that as rejection.
So, ladies, what's the answer? Today on Wifey Wednesday, let's share what we do for ourselves so that we're not exhausted, and we feel rejuvenated.
Personally, I do two things: I knit, and I take baths. I love baths. They give me some thinking and planning time which I desperately need (I often take a piece of paper and pen in the bath with me. They get soggy, but they do the job). And I knit to ground me.
What about you? Do you have any suggestions for us as to how to find time to ourselves? And how important is it? Let's talk about it!
(I'm hoping the Mr. Linky shows up. I'm writing this a day ahead and posting it tomorrow, so hopefully it will. But if it doesn't, just leave your link in the comments! And by next week I'll have the Mr. Linky thing solved!)
I love this topic because I think it is something to many mama's neglect- themselves. We don't have anything to give if we don't give to ourselves as well. And, BTW, I'm an extrovert (at least according to Meyers Briggs) :-) Hope you had a great vacation!
And I am desperately trying to find a way to balance being a mother and being ME. Somehow I have lost ME in all of these other titles I wear.
This week I feel like running away from hubby and kids...if just to get FIVE minutes to myself without someone needing me for something..sigh. Do SAHMs get vacations? I don't think that it was part of the career benefits package. I think I misplaced my benefits package...it's under the clutter..somewhere.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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