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Down with the Victim Mentality!
Have you ever noticed how everyone is a victim these days?

Yesterday I wrote about women who feel like they just can't get their kids to clean up, so they give up. They don't use the authority that God gave them; they throw it aside because "no one ever listens to me".

That's a victim talking.

How did we ever get into this culture where everyone is a victim? Do you know what being a victim means? It means that you can never accomplish anything. You don't have any power on your own (or even with God). You are completely at the mercy of others, or at the mercy of your own private demons, or at the mercy of your circumstances. There's nothing you can do to change it.

Do you really believe that?

What a horrible way to live! Now I know some of you have come from very difficult backgrounds and very difficult circumstances. I don't really want to turn this into a post on how to be healed of the deep hurts in our lives. I just want to look into the whole idea of victimhood.

We may have been victims of some hardship, but that does not mean that we need to stay in the role of victim throughout our lives, where we're helpless to get anything done. And in fact that whole idea of victimhood is the antithesis of Christianity.

Other religions love victimhood. They see the individual as quite passive, and subject to the whims of others, or even the whims of nature. The Greek gods often were victims themselves, drawn into conflicts that they couldn't avoid. Hinduism sees us as passive in the face of the karma that we have built up in past lives. Even Buddhism demands passivity to some extent: we are to forget about desire, and eradicate desire, so to achieve nothingness.

And Islam sees God as doing whatever he pleases, and we can't do anything about it. Life is about fate.

But life isn't about fate! First and foremost, our God is an active God. He made this universe. He's creative. He's not reactive like Greek gods; He actually does stuff. Imagine that!

And then He turned around and asked Adam and Eve to do the same thing. They were to be creative, too! Adam was to name the animals. We were to multiply, and make other people. And we were to have dominion over the earth. It wasn't to have dominion over us; we were to manage it.

We serve an active God who expects us to be active, too. We aren't victims! After all, when God Himself faced an almost impossible situation, He took the ultimate action. He wanted to be reconciled to us, but He couldn't live with sin. But He didn't sit there and mourn about it or complain about it or get angry. He did something! He came to earth and died in our place.

We should never feel helpless or hopeless, because we are not. Even if others take everything from us, we still have control over our hearts. We can choose how to respond; no one can take that from you. But most of us aren't in that situation. We're not in a Nazi prison camp, or in a war. We're simply in our own homes. And we should not feel like there's nothing we can do to make things better.

God is active, and He wants to be active in your life, too. He wants you to do stuff! He doesn't want you just to sit there and mourn your situation! Now I know for some of you that is hard, but look at the example He gave.

This idea that we're all victims is a lie that eats at the hope God has given us. It says that we never will change, that things can't be redeemed, and that you are stuck. But you are not! Don't believe that lie when it comes to your marriage, your kids, your home, your job, or your other relationships. God loves making amazing things happen, but we need to participate.

So let's not be victims. Let's pray, let's act, and let's get excited! Are you with me?

Tomorrow we're going to have Wifey Wednesday, where we talk about what we can do to help our marriages get better. Here's one place where we do need to take some action! So come back, and we'll chat some more!

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum



At 4:29 PM , Blogger Catherine R. said…

I like this, Sheila. And I agree, what hope we have in Jesus. True their are consequences for sin, but it is so disgusting how angry and complacent people allow themselves to be because of bad stuff that has happened to them, real or perceived.

I have had the type of past that is normally a direct line between someone who ends up dead, in jail, HIV positive or with other such fates. People could say "no wonder" when they hear about what I have been through.

Before I knew Jesus I was a major victim. And let me just say that no counselor or antidepressant pill ever made any sort of detectable difference (not for lack of trying). While I still suffer echoes of the damage done, my life is a testament to the fact that Jesus is the only real "therapist".

Also, we need to get the message out that people do not have to suffer victimhood. I was always told that I basically had a free pass to be a horrible person because of my past. This is so destructive. I heard the opposite message from the bible and that's just one thing that turned me on to Christianity.


At 3:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

thanks for this reminder, sheila. i really needed to hear it yesterday!
it motivated me to crack down on the kids and their chores and rooms (which had been taking a down-turn, due to my 'giving up').
i was the general yesterday, and things were whipped back together.
i am hoping to stay on top again today...!!


At 3:58 AM , Blogger Mrs. Querido said…

Amen! Great post!

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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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