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Asking for Help
After my mini-nervous breakdown last week when I just realized I can't do everything on my plate, and I needed to take some time to concentrate on getting things done that I had let slide, I realized something else, too.

Not only had I put too much on my plate; I had also tried to do it all myself.

It's time to start asking for help.

As some of my long-time readers may know, I often feel like I take care of my whole extended family. I'm sort of the rock that holds both sides together.

But that's not the fault of the other people; it's also my fault, because when I need help I don't ask for it. Part of it is because I don't know if the others have time to help me, and they have their own problems. But another part is that I think I have this image of myself as the saviour of everyone, and that's not right.

So last week I started asking for help. Someone else is now going to drive the kids to hockey and skating every week, which gives me an extra 2 1/2 hours to get some work done.

I'm starting to enforce, once again, the kids' chores, so that they're responsible for the dishes and a lot of the laundry. Not all of it, because my 13-year-old just can't master how to fold a T-shirt. But a lot of it!

And I've started asking my mother to chauffeur to youth group activities a little bit more.

It's a start.

I do have family members that are here that can help me, but I often don't ask. Or I don't mind chauffeuring other people's kids around, if I'm going that way anyway, but I rarely ask others to take mine.

There are times when we just need to speak up, and I am at one of those times. I can't do everything alone, and yet I feel called to four very important things: being a wife & mom; my speaking and writing ministry; homeschooling my kids; and homeschooling my nephew. I know God is behind all of these opportunities for me, so He will give me the resources.

But I mistakenly thought that all of those resources were going to be mine. They're not. Sometimes He'll send others to help me. But I have to speak up and ask. So I am.

It's wonderful to realize you're not all-powerful! It's liberating! I suggest you try it, too!

To Love, Honor and Vacuum


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3 Comments:

At 9:58 AM , Blogger Bella said…

One of the first things I learned after BC (breast cancer) was ....I need to ask for help. It was not something I knew how to do do much less wanted to do...but God showed me I must, it is part of the plan.
It's still really hard and I have noticed the most stressful times in my life now are when I have passed up opportunities of help.

 

At 11:56 AM , Blogger Ashley said…

This is something that I struggle with as well! I seem to always think that I can do everything and I don't need help.

Since I have been married (Three years now) I have started to realize more that I cannot do everything. My husband needs me at home being the helper and I cannot do extra things if that interferes with my holy calling as a wife!

Thanks for sharing!

-Ashley

 

At 8:18 AM , Blogger ~Tami said…

Good for you! I am about to start making my 10 year old daughter do her own laundry. She has a bad habit of throwing clean clothes back in the laundry room after walking all over them in her bedroom floor! Maybe doing her own laundry will teach her to take care of her clothes that SOMEONE WORKS HARD TO WASH & DRY FOR HER! :) Again, I'm glad you've got some extra help.

 
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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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