In my last few Wifey Wednesday posts we've been getting philosophical: what does it mean to be committed, to be grateful for your spouse, to love him?

Now we're going to get practical for a moment. So here's my question:

So you have enough energy to be a wife?

I know that sounds like an odd question, especially if you're sitting at the computer right now with moist Rice Krispies on the bottom of your socks and kids pulling at you when you just wanted two minutes for yourself, but I think it's an important one.

We women have an easy time throwing our energy into our kids and our responsibilities. We'll be there for our children, try to get the housework done, try to give our kids some play time, try to make it out to kids' night at church where we're leading the crafts, get ready to go to the PTA meeting, drive everyone to soccer, and make a big birthday dinner for our mother-in-law.

But what do we have left at the end of the day for our husbands?

Maybe that doesn't seem like a fair question. Maybe you're thinking: at the end of the day, he should be there for me. And you're right. He should.

But you should also be there for him, and that's hard to do if you're exhausted. One of the chapters in my book Honey, I Don't Have a Headache Tonight revolves around this: how to get energy at the end of the day. If you're thinking it's impossible, let me offer some incentive. It may seem counterintuitive, but the more energy you put in with your husband, the more energy you'll have for the rest of your day.

When you make a connection with your husband, when you have a good time talking, or snuggling, or doing what married people do, you feel a natural high. You feel close, supported, loved. And that energy can take you through the next day.

So today, make sure you get some downtime in the afternoon. Make it a rule that kids have to stay in their rooms for 45 minutes after lunch, even if they're not napping. This can be book or puzzle time, or playing quietly on their beds. If you enforce it, they'll learn and they'll adapt. That gives you some time to yourself.

Cut some things out of your life. Don't sign the kids up for every activity under heaven. Don't volunteer to teach at everything. Keep at least two nights a week when you don't have anything on at all, and you can just relax as a family.

And ask your husband if you can take 45 minutes after dinner for a bath, or to read, while he gives the kids a bath. If you can take the time for yourself before the kids go to bed, then when they do go to bed, you'll be more likely to have the energy to spend time with your husband.

What about you? Do you have a tip for marriage? Why not link it here? Here's how it works: copy the picture at the top of this post by right clicking it and saving it to your hard drive. Then go to your own blog and make a Wifey Wednesday post. Once it's up, come back here and enter your blog's name and the URL for your post. That's it! And then share what you think with us.

Labels: loving, marriage, wifey wednesdays