Smoochiefrog is talking about the TLC show The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom, which sounds interesting.
We don't get cable, so my kids are I are stuck downloading episodes of What Not To Wear off the internet (my favorite show!), but let me weigh in anyway.
The point of the show seems to be, what if these SAHMs had actually pursued their dreams? What would their lives be like?
But, as Smoochiefrog says, my dream is to be with my kids. I am happy.
Of course, I do write and do some speaking. But the majority of my energy is with raising my kids, and I often wish I could trash all the other stuff and just be with them more! We homeschool, too, so it is a lot of work with them.
I think the problem I have with that show is that at some level they're trying to make us feel badly--like they made the wrong choice.
Why don't they ever take high powered executive women whose kids were raised in day cares and ask, "what would your family life be like, and how would your kids behave, if you had actually been the ones to raise them?". Now that would be an interesting show!
And rather eye opening.
So rather than making us feel, in some ways, that we made the wrong choice, or make us daydream about all the What Ifs (which is never a good idea), let's all be grateful that we gave our kids our best. Honestly, what could be better than that?
You know, it IS ineresting that that particular question is never asked in reverse. Does the woman who decided to forgo family altogther for the sake of career (like Condi Rice for example, whom I love!) have any regrets? Or as you mentioned, does the mom whose kids were raised in daycare have any regrets? Or does the dad who insisted that his wife work 40 hours just like him and now barely sees his adult kids because they feel no connection to home have any regrets? No one ever questions the validity of these decisions do they? Great post.
I've talked about this a lot with my girlfriends. I think the feminist movement was all about giving women options. There is no universal right choice or wrong choice - just a right choice or wrong choice for an individual and her family. I don't have children yet but when I do, I will be a working mom - both because my job is who I am (I'm a lawyer) and because my husband and I need both incomes, as we live in an expensive area of the country. But my choice is no more (or less, which is important to note) valid than the choice of a woman who chooses to become a SAHM! As long as it works for you and it works for your family, it's the right thing.
I've done both. Been a high powered executive and a full-time stay-at-home-mom. Sometimes I feel the need to explain that I wasn't forced in any manner...but made a totally committed decision to leave the rat race. My childhood dream was to be a mom.
I watched the first 10 minutes of that show last week and turned it off in disgust. This mom was so excited to see what "could have been" and it just made me so sad for her. Why plant those seeds of discontent (or potential seeds of discontent) in our own lives--the world does that enough for us women with its you're-too-fat magazines and be-all-you-can be "self help" books--YACK!! Don't get me started!
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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You know, it IS ineresting that that particular question is never asked in reverse. Does the woman who decided to forgo family altogther for the sake of career (like Condi Rice for example, whom I love!) have any regrets? Or as you mentioned, does the mom whose kids were raised in daycare have any regrets? Or does the dad who insisted that his wife work 40 hours just like him and now barely sees his adult kids because they feel no connection to home have any regrets? No one ever questions the validity of these decisions do they? Great post.