It's Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up!
When I was 9 years old I was in love with Chachi. I used to dream that I was just a few years older and I was asked to star in his TV show, and he kissed me and decided that he loved me. I would work out all kinds of different plots for the show, all of which involved him falling head over heels for me, because he was so wonderfully cute.
Ever have those kind of fantasies? We all do. The problem comes when they don't stop.
photo © 2007 Jennifer Stoddart | more info (via: Wylio)
I know many married women who would never dream of cheating on their husbands, but at the same time they have a "crush" on some big star--either a sports figure or a celebrity
. They have pictures of that man all over their FB page. They have mugs of him. They make constant references to him.
Recently I received this email from a woman exasperated with her friends. She writes:
Can you please tell married women to stop falling all over themselves praising other men? I'm sick of seeing married women talk about how "hunky" some hockey star is, or how "hot" some star is, especially when their husbands are sitting right there.
We've told men that we women don't like it when they talk about how hot other women are, but we turn around and do the same thing! It has to stop.
I completely agree. I think something has happened to our society in the name of "sexual liberation". In the 1970s, when feminism really got revved up, one of the things that the movement tried to do was to end the idea that women and men were somehow different. And so they started praising women for acting all sex-crazed, just like men. And it became a sign of women's empowerment to say that a guy was "hot", or to openly talk to other women about how cute someone was
. While men weren't allowed to do it, women were encouraged to do so.
We've now internalized that, so that we think it's fun and harmless to idolize hockey players or football players or actors. But it isn't. Even if your husband says it doesn't bother him, it's still wrong. The only one you should have eyes for is your husband.
We women often hear messages against romance novels, because these will wreck your marriage. But can I please ask married women to stop posting about hockey players on Facebook, too? And to stop buying jerseys of a particular player? And don't tell your children that you like him, either! Instead, tell your children how much you love and adore their father.
You should be your husband's biggest fan, not the fan of someone else. It isn't harmless, even if you're never going to meet the person in real life. It makes your mind go in the wrong direction, and it tells your husband and your kids that you're not truly committed to loving only him.
I'm working on a long post about what to do when your husband doesn't want sex as often as you do! It's the most common email question I get, and I wanted to do it justice, so I'll be coming out with a long video post about it next week!
Now, what advice do you have for us today? Do you see this trend on Facebook or among your friends? Or do you have something else to tell us? Write your own Wifey Wednesday post that links back to here, and then leave the link of THAT POST in the Mcklinky below. Thanks!
Labels: marriage, wifey wednesdays