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In Which My Mortification is Complete
I have to tell you what happened to me yesterday. It's worth reading if you like enjoying other people's humiliation.

But first, a little background so you can understand the scenario.

I'm writing The Good Girl's Guide to Sex, which was due in at the publisher's on the 15th, in the middle of my speaking tour in Alberta. I got it off, but a few days later my editor got back to me to say that she'd like to see some of the "Good Girl's Dares" that I'd offered to write: short little fun things that wives can do to spice things up.

Now it so happened that on the day she asked I also had two different columns due and a lot of travel time, and very little time in a hotel with a computer. So I decided to write them on my Blackberry in the car. I did, and when we arrived in Cold Lake, I copied them and pasted them into an email on my Blackberry which I then sent to myself so I could edit them on my computer and send them off. That's background one.

Here's background two: my Blackberry is new and I hadn't figured out how to lock it. It kept calling my husband by accident, for instance.

Now, here's my yesterday: my girls are in a Bible quizzing invitational tournament down in New York. We left early so we could meet up with some friends who are also quizzers at a big mall, so the teenage girls could shop for a few hours before the meet. I took my friend Kathy's cell number so I could text her when we got there and we could meet up. Which is what I did.

Kathy then gave her cell phone to her 15-year-old daughter, and the five teenage girls (including my two) went off together, while Kathy and I explored.

An hour later I looked down at my cell phone only to see, to my horror, my list of rather explicit things wives could do to spice things up. It had been texted. To Kathy's phone. Which our daughters had.

When I realized what I had done, I yelled out for Kathy, and in horror explained what I had just sent her daughter. She took it much better than I did.

When we met up with the girls we got their take. I guess they read about five before they decided they had better stop. Rebecca figured it had something to do with my book and thought it was funny. Kathy's daughter thought it was hilarious. The other mom with us wanted me to text it to her, too. But my youngest just said I had a dirty mind.

Let me reiterate: Bible quizzing. Teenage girls. Marriage sex dares. How do I get myself into these things? Here's one of the tamer ones: If you find yourself too tired at night, have fun in the morning! Surprise him in the shower and soap each other up!

The rest are way more explicit--fine if you're married; but what teenage girl wants to picture their parents doing that?

At least they know I have fun....

I have since figured out how to lock my Blackberry.

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11 Comments:

At 9:40 AM , Blogger Timmy Boyle said…

Oh...that is awesome! It must be an adventure being on Sheila's BBM list.

 

At 9:47 AM , Blogger Michelle said…

Thank you for making my morning. I would have so done that as well. :)

 

At 10:25 AM , Blogger Tracey said…

WHERE WE LEARN YOU ARE HUMAN! HA HA!

 

At 11:25 AM , Blogger Mary said…

How awful. Sounds like something I would do. My grown sons say that I am too old to be on the internet.

 

At 1:55 PM , Blogger Laura J. Davis said…

Ha!Ha! Oh, Sheila too funny. At least you will have another story to add to your talks!

 

At 3:34 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said…

Hey at least your kids are learning these things from you (even if on accident) instead of from friends. :)

 

At 7:54 PM , Anonymous Robert White said…

That is just hilarious.

 

At 9:59 PM , Anonymous Heather said…

Oh my, Sheila! I would have been so embarrassed too. I love that the other mom wanted it texted to her too. I guess we'll have to wait for the book to get the rest...

 

At 7:15 PM , Blogger Jamie {See Jamie blog} said…

Hilarious!
One of my good friends is a marriage & family pastor, and he & his wife lead marriage conferences, etc. They say you should "gross your kids out" at least once a week in regards to physical displays of affection or in some way getting across the idea that married sex is awesome -- and I think you accomplished that! ;)

 

At 10:51 PM , Blogger Kim said…

So sorry to grovel in your horror but WAY TOO FUNNY Sheila...LOL!!! Looking forward to the book so I can see what you had to say!!! LOL

 

At 10:09 PM , Blogger Cherish said…

Ay-yi-yi!

 
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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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