It's Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up!
Oh, no. It's another fitness post. She's turned a marriage post into a fitness post!
You're probably sick of fitness posts. Every blog you read, someone else is trying to lose weight. And you don't want to hear about it because you don't want to feel guilty.
Well, tough. I want to write about it because it will help me stay accountable, so even if you're feeling guilty, this is about ME because I'm writing this blog! :). So listen up, and I'll tell you my plans, and how it's going to impact my marriage.
Here's my problem. For the last 8 years I've gone up about 2 pounds a year. That doesn't sound too bad, except add that up and it's 20 pounds every decade. I'd like to put an end to that.
So my husband and I have decided that by the end of the summer we will both lose 10 pounds. That sounds reasonable and doable, doesn't it?
I was doing really well until the massive heat wave hit central Ontario last week, causing the temperature, with humidity factored in, to go above 40 degrees. It's really hard to exercise when it's over 40 degrees, and it gave me a great excuse not to.
Then I had a horrible computer day (I've had plenty of those lately), and I just had to buy myself a box of chocolate truffles. I'm sure you understand. Then we headed out to Calgary for 10 days and I did no exercise whatsoever.
But I'm home, the weather is normal again, and I'm going to start jogging in the morning and using my Wii Fit. And in the evenings we're going to play tennis. And I'm going to start eating normal meals. Often I skip breakfast, eat huge amounts of leftovers for lunch, and then eat a big dinner. If I just ate smaller meals, I'd be a lot better off. But I seem unable to not take that second helping. I love eating until I'm stuffed, rather than just eating until I'm satisfied.
Nevertheless, this time I think I'm going to succeed at my fitness quest, because here's the difference: my husband and I are doing it together, and we're going to hold each other accountable. It's kind of like a contest we've got going between ourselves about who is going to lose the weight first. And somehow the thought that I'm not doing it alone helps so much.
Fitness really shouldn't be something that we do alone. I think that's why most diets don't work. It has to be something that the whole family does together. I often try to pull my daughters into jogging with me, or the whole family will play tennis together. We should all be eating better. But when everybody does it together, it becomes a way of life. When it's just you, it's as if you're the one being put upon while everyone else lives high on the hog. And that's no fun.
It's also not healthy. Children need to be incorporating fitness into their everyday lives by doing sports that they can continue into adulthood--things like skiing, or tennis, or swimming, or jogging. Soccer and hockey don't help much, because how can you do that when you're 30?
But the neat thing when it comes to marriage is that if you can get active together, you find something you can do together. You're not just sitting on the couch watching a movie; you're actually experiencing something! And I've found over the last month playing tennis with Keith that we laugh a lot more when we're doing something active. Something always happens that's kind of funny.
This contest thing is really helping him, too, although it's not helping me quite as much. He lost 8 pounds while I was in Calgary (he has 7 more to go to make the 15 that he's aiming for), and I stayed exactly the same. So he's winning. And I'm not happy about that. That's going to encourage me to be smarter for the next few weeks!
I know some men just don't care, and they don't want to go along with you, but here are my suggestions in a nutshell:
1. Make it into a contest. And figure out something really good for the winner! I get back rubs every night for two weeks if I win. Think of something really great to give your husband if he wins (I'm sure you can think of something ;) ). Get the kids in on it, too, so they can root for a particular parent. Or they can even coach a particular parent! My youngest daughter is trying to help keep me on track!
2. Don't just diet; get outside and DO something. Go for walks every night. Take a jog. Take up a sport. Bike places. Diets are boring. Being active can be fun! And you create memories.
3. Remember to laugh. Don't get super serious about it. Just have fun as a family changing the way you operate. It has to be something that's sustainable, or you'll gain the weight right back, so don't make it so tough that you'll never keep it up. Just make little changes that you can all do together that are fun, and you'll find it has much more long-term impact.
What about you? Have you ever tried to work out with your husband? Ever tried to get your whole family active? Write your own Wifey Wednesday post that links back to here, and then leave the link of THAT POST in the Mcklinky below. Thanks!
I have such a hard time convincing my hubby to do anything physical with me. But then he works outside all day and walks about 3km just during milking so I can't really blame him for wanting to "finally" sit down. So instead, I've started to go for walks/play times with Caleb in the morning around the farm. It's tonnes of fun and great connection time for my son and I. As for healthy eating, we are trying to eat foods in a close to their natural state as possible. That's actually a line about nutrition from La Leche League and they even have a cookbook to help you do it! (It's called "Whole Foods for the Whole Family" in case you are wondering) I'm going to buy that cookbook because I want my son (and my hubby and I) to get used to natural flavours instead of all the artificial ones that are in processed foods. Then when I'm craving something yummy I'll reach for a strawberry instead of a scoop of chocolate chips. We started this when I first had Caleb 2 years ago and deviated but are getting back on track now before baby number 2 comes along. It's great fun to cook something healthy with my husband. That's our bonding time :)
I don't feel "guilty" when posts about fitness are made, I just get sick of them at times because I don't believe that "losing weight" is necessarily a goal people need to have. I think we force ourselves to feel guilty because some doctor has it in his head that his little chart someone made up is actually a good idea. He honestly thinks that it's healthy to strive to be super skinny like his charts say.
People never worried about this kind of stuff many years ago, and yet there were still large people. My husband says that size is an attitude. He says that he knows of several larger, curvy women like me and some of my friends, who do eat right and aren't lazy, and he thinks that's awesome. He says he prefers that over a woman with no curves who is very skinny and starves herself. However my husband also can't stand what he calls the "truly fat" women, the ones who are huge, and they eat whatever they want and don't exercise and just don't care.
I guess what I am saying is that eating healthy and being somewhat active is already part of our lifestyle, and I am still a bigger woman through all that. My husband does NOT think it's attractive or conducive to health for me to stress about calorie intake, or try to starve myself. I cook from scratch, eat foods as close as possible to their natural form, and eat fruits and vegetables.
Also I do one thing that I notice most other women in America don't do, and it's helped me lose a lot of my weight in the past. I drink water. I usually drink it exclusively. I don't drink soda except the occasion when I'm out with a friend, and even then I usually chose something else. I occasionally have a glass of juice with breakfast, if I even buy it. But mostly, I drink at least 8 cups of water a day.
If you follow the rules of basic health and hygiene, I don't think it's healthy to go any further and end up obsessing over this stuff.
But that's just my 2 cents, and it's probably not even worth that much. I don't think we should define ourselves with a number on a scale as much as we should by how healthy we are.
I think fitness can be a personal thing. In order for me to be able to be truly consistent with it, it's better for me to workout on my own early in the a.m. my family is still sleeping. My kids are actually really fit and healthy, so I don't need to schedule too much time for fitness for them. My husband doesn't need to lose weight and isn't too interested in working out with me, although we do hike as a family frequently. My gorgeous lean husband is my #1 support though, and that does help keep me motivated!
I guess, it's a matter of what works long term for the individual. For me, that does mean counting calories, keeping a food journal, and having a workout regime, especially since for so many years I just didn't care and it got me into trouble. In order to undo that trouble, I am pretty strict, I NEED that accountability and structure in order to break old habits.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
Stumble It!
I have such a hard time convincing my hubby to do anything physical with me. But then he works outside all day and walks about 3km just during milking so I can't really blame him for wanting to "finally" sit down. So instead, I've started to go for walks/play times with Caleb in the morning around the farm. It's tonnes of fun and great connection time for my son and I.
As for healthy eating, we are trying to eat foods in a close to their natural state as possible. That's actually a line about nutrition from La Leche League and they even have a cookbook to help you do it! (It's called "Whole Foods for the Whole Family" in case you are wondering) I'm going to buy that cookbook because I want my son (and my hubby and I) to get used to natural flavours instead of all the artificial ones that are in processed foods. Then when I'm craving something yummy I'll reach for a strawberry instead of a scoop of chocolate chips. We started this when I first had Caleb 2 years ago and deviated but are getting back on track now before baby number 2 comes along. It's great fun to cook something healthy with my husband. That's our bonding time :)