|
So Much Noise
|
|
Monday, December 21, 2009
|
According to my email this morning, I have won the European lottery (6,700,000 euros); I am the sole heir of a man who died last year in Sussex, U.K., and they want to give me millions of pounds; and someone from Sri Lanka has millions in a bank account they want to split with me. I am a lucky person indeed.
Last night I was sitting in a wonderful Vietnamese restaurant waiting for our take-out order with nothing to do but read the Sports section of a newspaper. It was all Tiger, all girlfriends, all the time. To tell you the truth, I really don't care. I don't.
Today, on the news, there's talk of health care, and scandals, and debt.
There is so much noise. So much noise that brings us down and overwhelms us, until we almost become immune to it. But we don't completely become immune, because I don't think we know how to live without the noise anymore.
We had our nephew over for dinner last week. He's an only child to divorced parents (just like I was), and we like including him in things, especially since he's the same age as my oldest. He had a great time. We ate a good meal, which lasted about half an hour because we were talking and joking the whole time. Then we read a particularly gross part of the Bible (we're reading through Judges with the kids after dinner, so since we had a 14-year-old boy as a guest we decided to read about Ehud, who plunged the sword into the fat king Eglon and "he was so fat the his fat closed around the sword." ). Then we played a game, and everyone helped clean up. It was a riot.
But it was also "quiet". There was no talk of movies, or Tiger, or scandals, or contention. It was just sharing relationship.
I find so often that when you get together with people it isn't much better than the noise we hear on the internet. We all talk about all the same stuff. We discuss Tiger, or we discuss movies or TV shows, or the latest diet craze, or video games. We talk about all the noise. Why don't we just talk about REAL things, like relationships, or life, or jobs, or school, or fun?
I was at another family event recently where the conversation did revolve around noise-items. I came away not really feeling like I knew anyone better, except for one sister-in-law that I always get along with and always talk to. I guess noise-subjects are safe, because few fights break out over them, unlike, say, politics or religion or something. But they're also impersonal. It's as if a wall has been built around so many people's hearts, and you can't ever get any deeper.
My kids see it, too. Sometimes they meet new kids that they just can't talk to, because they only things they want to talk about our pop culture. Katie will say to me, "I tried to change the subject, and asked about her siblings, or school, or her dreams, or whatever, but I really don't think she thinks about anything other than movies."
And undoubtedly, for many people, that's true. There is just too much noise.
I find sometimes that when I'm one on one with people I can break through it and talk about something meaningful, but in a group it's just so hard. And then I wonder why I'm there at all.
I suppose I'm just cynical after too many Christmas outings that seem to have little to do with Christmas, but do you ever feel that way? And do you have a solution?
As for me, I'm simply going to keep inviting my nephew over for dinner more. We had a great time, he had a great time, and there was no noise. Sounds good to me.
 Labels: culture |
Add to:  facebook |  Twitter |  Del.icio.us |  Stumble It! | Digg | Technorati |
 Subscribe to To Love, Honor and Vacuum
posted @ 7:44 AM
 
|
|
|
|
I totally get what you are saying. That is why I usually dread parties. "Small talk" (or noise) leaves me feeling tired afterward and often I feel slightly depressed! I really don't enjoy talking about TV, movies, clothes, hair, etc, etc, etc. I am learning that it is ok to have some relationships that are almost superficial (to me) in some ways but I NEED relationship that are genuine, deep, honest and real. It has made me really appreciate when others can connect on this level cause for sure...not everyone can.
I found it very interesting that your daughter has noticed this too in her peers. Do you think we (society) put up walls and hold people at arms length by staying on the "safe topics" and not talking about things that truly matter? Hmmm....lots to think about.
Love your Blog!
Holly