Last week we celebrated my daughter's 12th birthday, in a post when I recounted my rather humorous birth story with her.
I want to put her birth in a bit more perspective.
She was born on July 27, and I was very grateful that she did not wait until August, because I didn't want her birthday to be too close to another one. You see, a year before she was born, her brother came into this world. I guess he was her "big" brother, although he never got to be more than 5 pounds. She entered the world at 9 1/2. He left this world at 4 1/2. But I know that right now, he is running with the angels, and laughing, and doing cartwheels, and all sorts of physically fun things his little heart would never have allowed him to do on this earth.
My Christopher lived for 29 days 13 years ago. He would've been a teenager today. (Here's a picture of me last fall out at the cemetery). I wonder if babies and children grow in heaven? I think they must, at least babies, but at the same time, if they did, would that mean that there may be a time when heaven does not contain babies or children, because they've all grown up? I guess these are questions that will only be answered later.
It was because of Christopher that I started writing. My first article was this one, detailing my pregnancy with him, his short life, and what that taught us about loving "the least of these" in a culture which wanted me to abort him. My second article was this one, about how to help a friend through grief.
And then, of course, I have written a book called How Big Is Your Umbrella about the things that we yell at God when life stinks, and what He gently whispers back. And over the years I have discovered that I would so much rather have a hug from God than an encyclopedia of answers.
Right now I'm working on a new project. A few years ago I wrote a column called "A Prayer Through Tears" to help parents who had lost babies. It received an amazing response from readers, and I want to put it into a video on YouTube to comfort other grieving parents. I've got it almost done, but I'm lacking some pictures. Do you have any you'd be willing to share? Here's what I'm looking for:
Pictures of babies (if your child is still alive, and you're willing to let me use the picture just for artistic purposes anyway, that would be great. Or if you have a picture of a child in a hospital, or one who did die, I'd love to honor your child by including him or her
Pictures of children's gravestones (I know it sounds morbid, but that's the reality for many of us parents)
Pictures of women or men reading Scripture, or sitting quietly and looking out the window
If you have any, just email me through this page. I would so appreciate it! Thank you.
Your post brought me to tears. I felt a mix of sadness and joy. I have never lost a child and for that I am more thankful than for anything else. I commend you for working through your grief enough to help others on their own journey of pain and anger. My thoughts are with you. take care
People like you have extraordinary strength. I wish you well always. God bless! Thanks for sharing an inspiring post. I hope you'll find the pictures soon. By the way, there's a new social networking site dedicated to parents and kids, it's called Bluepixo.com - it's a place for Moms, Dads, and Kids! Now, there’s even a chance to win a free iPod Nano!. It would be so nice of you to join our parents’ forums and polls. Thanks a lot and have a great day!
Maybe you could contact Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/) - they might have some photos for release if you kindly mention their organization.
If you don't already know about it - NILMDTS is a volunteer organization of photographers who will photograph families and their babies who leave us far too soon - as a gift for remembrances of little child who left their mark on the world in a very brief lifetime.
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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Your post brought me to tears. I felt a mix of sadness and joy.
I have never lost a child and for that I am more thankful than for anything else.
I commend you for working through your grief enough to help others on their own journey of pain and anger.
My thoughts are with you.
take care