Don't have time to write big pieces today, but I recently read two different blog posts on a similar topic that converged for me.
Here's the issue: With feminism, men have become less and less necessary to women. We can earn our own way, and we can be single parents. At the same time, we've hoisted huge costs onto men. When we divorce, they usually pay a ton of child support, and often don't get much access to the kids. We decide whether or not we even have a child or not. Men are left out of the picture.
Yet men are also having an easier time getting what they want--namely commitment-free sex--because feminism has said that women should express their sexuality, too. So men can now get all the sex they want without committing. And if they commit, they'll likely lose a ton of income and lose access to their kids anyway. So why get married?
I'm not saying this attitude is correct, of course; I'm just saying it's prevalent in our culture. Here are two articles, written from a secular viewpoint (big warning) that deal with this:
I'm not going to comment on much of this, except to say that feminism has done a world of damage to marriage, regardless of whether or not there were also some benefits. I just throw this out there as a topic for discussion.
And I think I'll leave the last word on malehood to Dr. Laura, who sums up what I think more men should be (instead of finding excuses as to why it's all women's faults that they've stopped committing):
It's more than sex that's challenging men's masculinity.
As I noted in the Pulse section of the January February issue of Seven http://christianweek.org/also/2011-01-01_SEVEN_Issue_16_five.pdf page 8:
"Today’s headlines suggest men are in trouble: 'Are we raising our boys to be underachieving men?' (Maclean’s); 'The end of men' (Atlantic); 'Are men being robbed of their masculinity?' (Globe and Mail); and 'Men’s Lib' (Newsweek).
Every story has the same theme: the recession hit men the hardest and women have picked up the slack. According to Newsweek, the 'Great Recession…decimated male-heavy industries like construction and manufacturing.' Leading, says the Globe and Mail, to the 'rabid concern that men are being robbed of their essential masculinity.'"
The changing culture of manhood has to do with the fact that the anchors which men used to used to define themselves, have been ripped from their moorings. More and more men are at loose ends as they try to find meaning in things that are, essentially, meaningless.
Thank God for ministries like Promise Keepers which point men to the Anchor: Jesus. And for publications like Seven which are designed to help men discover their identity is in Christ.
Loved the Dr. Laura video, Sheila. Thanks for sharing that.
And for being so courageous and saying the unpopular thing. You are to be held in high esteem for being a real woman, willing to stand up for what is right and righteous.
Sheila, have you read this book by Mark Regnerus? http://www.amazon.com/Premarital-Sex-America-Americans-Marrying/dp/0199743282/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299181375&sr=1-1 If you haven't, I think you will find what he has to say interesting. I heard him speak a couple of weeks ago and this post reminded me of his talk. Oh, I just saw the link in one of your links was to one of his articles!
Great post. Like one of the other commenter's said, it does take courage to stand up and speak out against what's "popular" in today's culture. But, we can't expect the "males and females" to get it, can we?
About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.
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It's more than sex that's challenging men's masculinity.
As I noted in the Pulse section of the January February issue of Seven http://christianweek.org/also/2011-01-01_SEVEN_Issue_16_five.pdf page 8:
"Today’s headlines suggest men are in trouble: 'Are we raising our boys to be underachieving men?' (Maclean’s); 'The end of men' (Atlantic); 'Are men being robbed of their masculinity?' (Globe and Mail); and 'Men’s Lib' (Newsweek).
Every story has the same theme: the recession hit men the hardest and women have picked up the slack. According to Newsweek, the 'Great Recession…decimated male-heavy industries like construction and manufacturing.' Leading, says the Globe and Mail, to the 'rabid concern that men are being robbed of their essential masculinity.'"
The changing culture of manhood has to do with the fact that the anchors which men used to used to define themselves, have been ripped from their moorings. More and more men are at loose ends as they try to find meaning in things that are, essentially, meaningless.
Thank God for ministries like Promise Keepers which point men to the Anchor: Jesus. And for publications like Seven which are designed to help men discover their identity is in Christ.