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Should Men do the Shoveling?
We are snowed in here terribly today, but the storm has stopped and we'd like to get to church.

So hubby is out there shoveling. I hate shoveling.

Whenever I speak about housework and marriage, women tend to want me to dilineate what men should do and what women should do, so that they can go home and batter their husbands with it.

I don't do that. In To Love, Honor and Vacuum, I talk about figuring out what's fair based on workloads and individual skills and preferences. I like doing laundry. I like folding laundry. It gives me a sense of usefulness. I like cooking, too.

I don't like taking the garbage out and emptying the garage. So Keith does that.

I do the vast majority of the housework because I'm home more and Keith works more. That's what's fair. It wouldn't be like that in all families, but it is in ours. And I love creating a nice home for the family.

The important thing, I think, is that we remember the relationship, and not our rights, is the first priority. That does mean that if he's taking you for granted something has to change. We are not called to be doormats. We're called to model responsible relationships to our children. But don't forget that serving can also be very rewarding.

In the meantime, I'm grateful he's shoveling. Even though it means I'm not getting exercise I need! What do you think?

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At 2:47 PM , Anonymous Carla said…

I love your blog! Just stumbled upon it - can't even remember how I got here...

Anywho, I agree. After years of marriage and kids, I have come to the conclusion that doing "chores" is just part of life - everyday - day in, day out - LIFE.

Why do we complicate it so by thinking we have to "divvy" up the list?

It all still needs to get done.

And in the end, does it really matter who did what, or if I did more than my hubby or kids? What is it I am really after - a spotless house or a family that "works" (and not necessarily in the maids/servants/slave mode).

Years ago, I decided after searching the scriptures, that "keeping the home" was ultimately my responsiblity. My kids are also eager to "help Mom out, please" and my husband is too...when I present the "chore" as my responsibility that I "need" their help with...
It made for a cleaner, happier home and a family that "works".

And I am glad I live in Florida - the lawn needs some tending to at the moment, but at least there's no snow to be shoveled!


At 3:01 PM , Blogger Sheila said…


I'm jealous. Grass instead of snow. Sigh.

I think it is our jobs more than our husbands simply because we care more, don't we? He honestly doesn't care that much if the meals are healthy, but I do.

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About Me

Name: Sheila

Home: Belleville, Ontario, Canada

About Me: I'm a Christian author of a bunch of books, and a frequent speaker to women's groups and marriage conferences. Best of all, I love homeschooling my daughters, Rebecca and Katie. And I love to knit. Preferably simultaneously.

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