It's Wednesday, the day when we talk marriage! I introduce a topic, and then you follow up either by commenting or by writing your own post and then linking up!
Today I want to talk about how to maintain an *ahem* intimate marriage when you have teenagers under your roof.
I know many of you have children who are younger, but one day they will grow, so it's best to start planning now!
As I mentioned yesterday, we just got back from the Grand Canyon. While there, we rented an RV and drove around to all kinds of neat sites. It was a ton of fun, and something we always intended to do. And incidentally, it did save money. The rental on the RV was more than it would have been for motels and a rental car, but because we cooked all our food, it ended up cheaper.
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Anyway, we had a large RV. But large as it may be, that did not mean it was private. If you rolled over in bed, or walked anywhere, the RV rocked. So you can imagine what it was rather impossible to do, if we wanted the kids to remain oblivious.
At home we have a rule that they have to be in their rooms at 9:30, even if they're not asleep right away, just so Keith and I can have some time to talk alone. I find that I just can't get romantic unless I've had time to unwind with him, and that means telling him all the things that have been on my mind throughout the day. He's okay with that, largely because he knows it's in his best interests :). But we've set things up in the family so that we have that alone time. Sometimes we go for walks earlier in the evening, and we often tell the girls they have to leave us alone. They're okay with that.
When you do have teens, it is important to carve out that privacy, even if it means that your teens don't like it because they're banished to their rooms. But there's no other way to do it.
At the same time, there will be occasions, like our RV romp, when privacy is impossible. So here's my question: what do you do? I don't have any great answers on this one, so I'd love some feedback (although perhaps it would have done me more good before my vacation). How open are you with your kids about your need for alone time? Let me know!
Now, what advice do you have for us today? How do you handle children underfoot? Or do you have something else to tell us? Write your own Wifey Wednesday post that links back to here, and then leave the link of THAT POST in the Mcklinky below. Thanks!
Labels: intimacy, marriage, parenting, teenagers, wifey wednesdays |
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Stumble It!
The thing with teenagers is they aren't stupid and they know some things. What I think I would do is just tell them that you want some alone time, and to take a hike, or go swimming, or somewhere, but you require them to go do something, somewhere else, and give them a time limit, like, an hour, or two hours, that they have to be gone. They'll know why you want to be alone and most teens don't want to be around at those times anyway. :)